Drizzly.Sunshine.World

2010-09-29T00:00:00.002+08:00

You either really have no clue or you're a spiteful, evil fuck, who is just out to break me.

I would really love to think that you are clueless.
But I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that.

How do you do such things and not consider what it is like to be on the receiving end?
Don't tell me you don't know.
That's just bullshit.

-

AAarrgghhhh!!
I'm not suppose to be so bothered in the first place!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-29T21:57:00.002+08:00

I realised this week that life has a funny way of balancing itself out.

I have had a rough week, with bad things and strange things happening almost all at once. But at the same time, I've also had fantastically wonderful moments with friends I meet regularly and friends that I haven't seen in a long time.

And such moments are so precious during times like these...
♥

2010-08-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

I had 2 very interesting conversions with my sisters today.

Brunchtime Talk
My elder was talking about this friend she has in Australia and the conversation lead to living life there.

Walk-in-the-Park Conversation
My younger sister told me about her dreams of her future after JC and of going to the UK to study. So we brainstormed some ideas of what she can do to get herself closer to her dream. I really want to see her try her best and go somewhere with the dream of hers, no matter what the outcome is...

Anyway, the conversations got me thinking about my life now. The brunchtime talk made me realise that there's a very real possibility that I am more than willing to drop everything I have now and go off and live somewhere else for awhile.

I have been saying so often that I want to do something more and accomplish more. So much so that I feel that the most drastic way to jump start that is to run off and find something to do elsewhere.

I don't want to be all cliched and say (on National Day) that I love my country. But I do... There are so many things I can't live without like hawker centers and Cai Fan and porridge, all kinds of roasted meats, chicken rice and tons more. So I know I can't live in some other country forever, but I definitely want to get away for awhile and experience something different.

WAH! Maybe helping my sister research about university options in the UK will spark something else? *hopes*

2010-07-31T23:03:00.006+08:00

I love listening to She & Him, their music makes me happy...

~

For those of you who tried but didn’t make it
Settle down it’s never what you think
The summit doesn’t differ from the deep dark valley
And the valley doesn’t differ from the kitchen sink

- This is Not a Test by She & Him, Volume 1 -

~

I'm not sure what the lyrics mean, but I like the way it sounds...
=)

On a side note, I love her hair!

Falling Slowly...

2010-07-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

Well you have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

~ Falling Slowly by The Swell Season

Fill in the blanks

2010-07-28T23:57:00.003+08:00

Hi Blog,

It's been quite a long while since I wrote here. The last post was November 2009! Wow... I really should get back in touch with it.

A few days ago, I had a sudden urge to write something somewhere. The first avenue that came to mind was Facebook. But, it's way too open and accessed by too many people. So that is out. I could write it down with pen and paper. But I guess I may actually want someone to know what I'm feeling and hence the online post.

The last couple months hasn't been smooth sailing. I've had quite a few visits to the doctor's and my health in general isn't very good. Maybe because I sleep so late all the time and brought all of this on myself. Haha.

I feel like my life needs a change and I need to get out there and do things. Really pursue the things that I want to do and stop making excuses to myself. I just have to make things work. I've started the change step-by-step and I'm really enjoying what I have so far. But I somehow feel that I should accelerate things a little, or rather, A LOT more. Just because I feel like I have so much more I want to accomplish.

I MUST NOT come up with anymore excuses and just DO. The last thing I would want is to have yet another year past (= 12 months = 365 days = A LOT OF TIME!) and look back only to realise that things are still the same. I fear this above everything else...

2009-11-13T20:52:00.003+08:00

I love listening to Muse. Their music is inspiring, passionate and empowering. I feel like I can do anything...

The best thing is, they are coming to Singapore again! On 3rd February 2009 at the Indoor Stadium! They are headlining BIG Night Out 2010, along with other acts which have yet to be revealed.

Anyway, I'm going to buy the standing tickets, take leave on that day and camp outside Indoor Stadium for front row standing spots. And I'm going to brave all moshing that may (or may not) happen. I don't quite care.. Haha!

*Prays and hopes there's no moshing*

*Prays and hope that there's a VIP package I can get*
*Prays and hopes that the VIP package includes a meet-the-band opportunity*
*dies*

2009-10-04T15:49:00.004+08:00

This is the first week I gave myself social activities after work. I met up with Wei Qin, Clara and Hui Yi for dinner on Tuesday, went for a jog in NUS with the Garlic and met Hui for the Topshop party on Thursday. I had a great time on all those days!

And then I had 2 accomplishments. First, I gave a presentation to my MD, which I only had 15mins to prepare. And I lead the first 10mins of a meeting with a group of SMU students who needed our help. Both went really well, of course, it wasn't perfect, but I was praised by my MD and colleagues, which is always a good thing.

But my week still ended badly and I'm in a mess now. I've been thinking a lot, too much for my own good. My job is starting to make me doubt myself. I'm not confused about my job scope, but I do realise I have tons of things to learn and I'm slowly losing my strength to fight.

I'm struggling to learn the trick of the trade. I'm learning to improve myself, learning to deal with my boss, learning to interact with the other departments, trying to pick out red tapes, figuring out the DOs and DON'Ts, trying to be more alert and observant. And I'm doing all of that at once. It gets overwhelming, especially because this is my very first job and I don't have any point of reference.

I've been told that I'm deproving and falling behind and it's confusing because I don't think I have and I'm not sure why I seem to be giving people that impression. My colleagues told me I have improved over the last two and a half months, but I'm being told otherwise, which makes everything even more confusing. Who do I believe?

My job seems to be challenging the very person I am and there are some job requirements that seem to be against my beliefs. I'm trying not to give in to peer pressure and doing things that are out of my character just because my job 'requires' it. But I find myself tempted to succumb to it. It frustrates me because I see it as I'm not standing my ground.

I also realise that I've been second guessing and doubting myself. I seem very easily swayed by people's comments. If people say I need to be 'whacked' in order not to be slack, I believe them. But in actual fact, I don't think that's true at all.

All of that boils down to the fact that I'm unsure of myself and I'm not standing up for myself. But why am I like that in my work environment? Is it because the environment just isn't suitable for me? Or is it because I'm just not strong enough?

As of right now, I feel that I'm not strong enough to take it all...

2009-09-20T17:32:00.002+08:00

I've been in a confused mess.

I see my friends meeting up with each other or doing things that they love, and I get jealous. Those who dance, are still dancing. I gave that up. They're meeting up with each other, while I'm left out of the fun, and I'm cooped up at home or at work.

Is there something wrong with me? I keep feeling like people are moving on with their lives and doing exciting things, while I'm falling behind and abandoned. Or maybe I'm confused and unsure of myself. I'm struggling to find myself. I don't really know who I am or what I'm good at. And I don't seem to have much to be proud of.

I seem to keep wanting to impress people and I'm trying too hard to be cool, when I'm not.

I'm tired of being left behind and unnoticed. I want to stop feeling sorry about myself and for once, start feeling proud of who I am.

-

On the other hand, I'm getting my Muse Box Set soon. So I should be happy, shouldn't I?

2009-09-06T12:48:00.006+08:00

I owe my friends my birthday wishlist. But then again, I don't really have a wishlist this year...

So after some thought, this is what I came up with:

Hand held fan (but not the electronic, battery-powered ones)
Portable name card holder (like the ones from the Metropolitan Museum)
~~Bigger name card holder for me to put in my office~~

Flat cushion/stuffed toy that I can use as a back rest or for me to hug in my office

~~Handkerchief (not the 'uncle uncle' kind)~~

~~'Shi Wan Ge Wei She Me' DVD box set (HAHA!)~~
A new mouse for work
New camera to replace my current out-of-date one
Muse 'The Resistance' Vinyl Box Set - I'm buying this for myself!
CD + DVD, including The Making of The Resistance DVD
Vinyl
Muse USB
12" Art Print

That's all I have for now. I realised that quite a few are for work.. :p Ohh wells...

Speaking of work, I actually like going to work and I don't dread it at all. And I realised recently that I am having the same feeling that I had when I was in dance in JC.

Hui called it the Dance Studio Syndrome. We used to have really long and tiring rehearsals and even though rehearsal has ended, we don't want to go home or we won't mind staying late.

It's quite awesome, really. I've been staying at work till rather late nowadays and I don't mind that at all. I also don't mind the fact that I've got a lot of work to do. The only thing I mind is feeling tired, perpetually tired. And that I don't have much time to meet Garlic or my friends. Other than that, I enjoy what I do and the people I work with.

I'm very thankful for that!
Whee! =)

2009-07-18T10:49:00.004+08:00

Work has been relatively kind to me and I'm thankful I don't have to deal with shit except the occasional few mean people on the phone.

It's a lazy Saturday at work today and I've been doing an exceptional amount of thinking. I realised that I've lost touch with so much, like my completely neglected blog!

I haven't touched my piano in months and I haven't been listening to a whole lot of music. Maybe this is what losing touch with yourself feels like. It's scary. I can come up with 10,000 reasons and say that I've been too busy and tired, but that's just a huge excuse.

I guess I have to try a little harder to squeeze in maybe 15 minutes of piano once in awhile and remember to charge my iPod so I'll have music on my way to work...

Sigh... What a horrid realisation... O_o

2009-05-09T19:31:00.002+08:00

It's been a tough week. Work started and it's actually really great, but slow. Then again, I already expected that. I didn't have anyone sitting next to me till Friday, my boss has been real busy running around and meeting people, I was just starting to get to know people (who are really nice by the way), the walk to the office is crazy long, and I have no comfy shoes that don't give me 10,000 blisters and scar my feet. It definitely didn't help that I was completely not used to getting up at 6am and I had gastric every other day. Sigh...

But all the negatives aside, I had really good moments as well. I made a few phone calls that made me feel competent. And I'm working on this contingency plan right now that sometimes made me feel like it's not enough, but sometimes, also gave me a sense of accomplishment. The girl who eventually came and sat next to me was really nice too. She helped me feel less lonely and bored because I felt I could really connect to her. Plus, I think it helped that she's the same age me. =)

So I've got plenty to learn still and much to experience. I can't wait to get my name card! They're how cute.. Ohh and an identity sticker on my access card because it's blank and white now. I'm real excited about the opportunities I'm going to get soon, but I'm having some trouble adjusting to everything. The tiredness and the gastric... I can deal with the tiredness, but not gastric and I hope I find a solution to that really soon.

-

I was looking forward to the weekend but it was far from pleasant.
Nasty argument..
I said things that I eventually regretted.

Sigh... I hate myself sometimes...

2009-05-02T11:13:00.005+08:00

I went and got my tattoo on Thursday. FINALLY! It looks mighty awesome! And it was mighty painful... But it was well worth the pain and money. After getting it, I was walking around, sporting a new trend: cling wrap and masking tape.

Funny huh? Anyways, here's a close up look at it...

Awesome eh?! I've been talking about it for so long and I finally got about with it. I'm very happy and grateful for the whole experience and it went really well. After I made the appointment, I realised that this is actually an excellent time to go for it because it sort of marks the start of a new phase of my life with the new job and everything. So on top of the importance of the tattoo and what it means to me, my experience felt very complete.

I haven't told my parents and don't intend to until later. I have got a strategy going. I want to do well at my new job, stay out of trouble at home and then tell my parents because I guess they'll be less likely to think that I'm a bad person. I want to tell them so badly because I want to share my excitement with them and also because it is technically my duty as a daughter to tell them out of respect. But I guess it's not a very good time to tell them yet. I will eventually, when I feel I'm ready for it.

I have no clue how they will react to it. I know they're not say very up for it, but I'm praying and hoping that my dad will appreciate the artistic side of it and my mum will not be all superstitious about it.

*keeps fingers cross until further notice*

2009-04-22T17:58:00.002+08:00

I had an interesting talk with someone I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We were reliving the good old days back in school. Talking to him was like a self-improvement experience.

I always felt awkward, like there was something wrong with me and my personality. Talking to him made me feel less like that. He remembered things that I didn't even remember myself and I never knew I could have an impact on anyone's life. Well, you can say that I was given an ego boost. But it does make a person feel better know that they're not invisible and it sure did help me become more accepting of me. It's just that sometimes, shit happens to good people... =)

I had a talk with my piano teacher. I told her how I've been feeling off lately and I haven't been very focused on anything. The huge relief was that she understood completely how I felt and she gets emotionally low periods like I do. It was comforting to know that I'm not messed up and I'm definitely not alone.

That talk with my teacher triggered a whole other thing. Tattoo. She got one quite recently and she told me the guy is awesome. She invited me to go down with her to the shop on Tuesday because she wanted to get another one. I liked the soft finish of her tattoo so I agreed to go check the place and the guy out.

Since I've been sort of scared and a little bit superstitious as well (due to my upbringing.. hee), I decided to let the heavens and my gut feeling decide things for me. The day went extremely well and everything seemed to fall nicely into place. And the huge deciding factor was, I loved the artist's idea for mine. It's very unique! And unfortunately, it's a bit hard for me to explain what it looks like now, but I'll definitely post a picture if I get it.

Anyway, I've already made an appointment for next week and I'm crazy excited about it. BUT! My sister is not... One sister is on for it, but the other is far from it. I've been given mixed opinions from her. I was really surprised and heart-broken when I found out her mental perception of me. I'm apparently someone who is rash, doesn't think about the consequences and is bent on getting it no matter what.

That, of course, is far from the truth. I've been thinking about it and constantly modifying my design for over a year. It's a liberating feeling knowing that I finally get to have something that is my own and reflective of who I am. And it's really upsetting. My parents are already against it and I intend to keep it from them. The last thing I need is not to have 100% support and their opinion matters is extremely important to me.

On a lighter note, I got an interview! From Mr. Bean! I'm so amused and so happy. I really like the brand, ever since it got an image overhaul. And I would like to meet the people who created the current image.

BUT! I may not take the job because the place is really hard to get to! It's at Aljunied and that's relatively close to my house, but it's in an industrial area and really far from the MRT station. It requires tons of walking. The alternative route is to take 3 different bus services from my house, which is crazy as well.

So, the best case scenario is if there's a free bus shuttle from Aljunied MRT station to the industrial area!

Wow! It's been a crazy week. So much ups, downs and possibilities. But it does beat having nothing at all =)

2009-04-19T22:41:00.004+08:00

Today's one of those roller coaster, down days. I'm depressed from staying home too much. I'm becoming a hermit who doesn't get out much. All I do is transit between 2 houses and make a trip down to Woodlands once a week. I want to go out and play, watch a movie, chill at Starbucks and get a ridiculously large drink that takes me forever to finish. Or a trip to the library will be good too.

But then again, even though I want to do all these things, I seem to have lost all my motivation to go anywhere. I have this list of things to do because I knew I would get bored, so I wanted to keep myself occupied. But it's not working anymore. I don't even want to go for piano. I'm not sure why. It's not that I don't want to go out, piano has become the last thing I want to do.

Where has my drive and passion gone?

-

By the way, I cut my hair. Short.

I like it. It's a nice change.

I may decide to go shorter and add purple streaks in it.

But then again, I can't because I have to be prepared for any potential interviews.

Ohh and I don't have this thing called cash.

-_-

-

I'm still excited about this though...

2009-04-17T02:14:00.002+08:00

Do you ever wonder what you are like through other people's eyes? Or what they think of you and your personality? Well, I have! Too much for my own good actually. I think so much such that I become almost obsessed and in a negative way as well.

Anyway, I was talking to my secondary school friend recently, and I wondering how different I am from back then. I feel a world of difference. I think I was retarded then and didn't know better. Now, I'm about still the same, but way less than last time.

It's a rather strange kind of feeling I get that I can't quite explain. Or maybe it's just me over thinking and over analysing again =p

2009-04-03T14:03:00.002+08:00

National Geographic is awesome. I love the show Naked Science. It's a documentary that deals with all sorts of stuff like the universe, deep sea volcanoes, global warming, climate changes, aliens, etc. The show is an eye-opener and I get so fascinated every time I watch it.

Well, the topic on the last two episodes were rather depressing. One was about melting glaciers at the poles and the other one was about the possibility of another ice age. Basically, as a result of global warming, the climate is at stake and within the next 100 years or so, there is a 50% chance of another ice age. Not a very hopeful figure, I thought.

It got me thinking. Within the next 100 years, if nothing is done, my future children will have to live through and suffer the consequences. So I decided, I will never have kids if that really is the case. I would rather not have kids than risk having them being born into a world of chaos.

Random, huh? That's what happens when I have too much time on my hands. I think... Too much for my own good... Haha!

2009-04-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

I've been forgotten and left out yet again.

I don't mean to sound childish or anything, it sucks.

Trying to get back in touch, reconnect, and maybe rekindle friendships that were once lost.

Apparently I'm the only dumb idiot who thinks there's even a chance of that happening.

-

Seriously, why do I even bother?

But then again, I don't exactly have many I can count on.

So maybe that's why...

-

Damn... I'm so pathetic...

2009-03-31T18:51:00.005+08:00

Well, dance season is over. I did my last show on Sunday and it's quite depressing to realise that I don't have dance rehearsals to go to and it's back to my kind of lifeless and boring life. Still, as upset as I am, I had loads of fun, more so than I expected. With each show that I did with the girls, I enjoyed it more and more. Took tons of photos and did loads of crazy things!

And this is one of the unglam, ridiculous thing I did. The photo isn't very clear but I've got three ponytails, one on top and two at the side, one higher than the other. Ohh and that's the full eye make-up that we did. We couldn't do that on the first show because there wasn't enough time. Anyway, here's a closer look at the eyes...

Awesome huh?!

And that's me and Hui, with her awesome half-falsies and blue lipstick on me =)

The blue lipstick annoyed me a little though because I kept 'eating' mine and it kept disappearing. We had to apply two layers, first the white and then the blue, because it'll help the blue show a bit more. Without the white, it'll eventually turn purple because it'll merge with the pink of the lips. So I had my lip balm on and because it's all creamy and didn't quite stick, I kept swallowing it whenever I moved my lips. I could feel my throat drying up from 'eating' the lipstick. It was still an awesome look and I think Hui's item was the best. Even more so with the make-up! =)

So I had tons of fun, took TONS of photos and got to hang around with the rest of the girls. I love experiences like these. I love that it was genuinely fun and I truly enjoyed each of their company. There's this sense of togetherness that I'm really thankful for, where everyone is looking out for one another and entertaining each other because we were all dying of boredom. I think they're a hilarious bunch, very amusing and very sweet as well. I do hope I get to see them again or better still, get to dance with them again! =)

2009-03-27T00:50:00.004+08:00

A Very Green Post

Me and my sisters have a rule when we're out now: Anytime we buy something from outside, as long as we can do without a plastic bag, we'll ask not to have it. It applies even to food. You see, if you're ordering just one Subway sandwich to go, you don't need a bag now, do you?

Next on my wish list: An awesome-looking Eco-bag like the one my sister has. Not only is it pretty and looks like an actual bag you would carry, but it's compact-able!

I have started my journey of reducing the use of plastic bags, have you? Join us! =)

Dear Friends,

I need a favour. This Saturday, 28th March 2009, is Earth Hour day. In case you don't know what it is, it is a global voting day. Voting against global warming by turning off your lights for an hour on the 28th: 8.30pm to 9.30pm.

Check out the website! Many companies have signed up for it. I think it's going to be really fun to be out on that day and it'll be interesting to see how these companies cope with the lack of lights for an hour. Because, business is on as usual at 8.30pm!

So anyways, I need a favour from everyone because I am going to be performing again this Saturday and Sunday! So not only will I not be able to join, I won't be able to go out and what it's like outside =(

Friends, I would like you guys to join in the fun and if you're going to be at home, turn off your lights for an hour, light some candles and chill with your family. If you're going to be out, let me know what it's like in the city. =)

Do let me know if you're going to be a part of it in any way. Ohh and if you can't be a part of it for whatever reasons, get someone else to be a part of it! Hee... Thanks so much! =)

Have fun on Earth Hour day!
Love, Cyn~

2009-03-24T14:44:00.004+08:00

Temasek Hall Dance Production 2009: Incandescence

Well, the main dance performance is over. And I have to say that it's kind of bittersweet because I had a ton of fun compared to last year.

Honestly, Hui's item was great, but last year's experience was rather bad. Because it's a hall thing, I felt super left out from beginning to end. The performance day was spent hanging around on my own with literally nothing to do. I didn't know people so I couldn't help them with costumes and make-up and what-nots. And I guess one of the worst things was I wasn't part of the Finale item, nor curtain call. I'm fine with not doing Finale, but having to stand at the wings and watch curtain call was a bit sad. It did help that Hui was there though..

I'm really happy at the way things turned out this year. My experience took a 360 degree turn for the better. I got to talk to and know so many more people, and I think they are great. I'm still the shy, quiet and awkward person that I am, but I felt way less helpless and useless. I got the chance to help backstage with stuff and I took many photos. And I had that injury scare. Thank goodness I was fine as the concert drew closer. I still wasn't able to help with make-up and hair though... Ohh wells! I'm still really happy and grateful for the whole thing! =)

Hui and Her Girls

2009-03-16T14:58:00.000+08:00

I am SEMI-INJURED...!
*stresses*

2009-03-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

After days of stressing, I finally took the piano theory test today. It went quite well actually, so I'm really glad. I just have to wait for the results to come out. I hope I do well! *crosses fingers*

Today was an exciting day. Apart from the theory test, I actually helped Hui choreograph a finale item. I think that's probably the first time I ever helped with any kind of ch0reography. I didn't do much actually, just learned the steps to help her visualise stuff. But it was still real fun, an awesome sense of achievement. Love the pas de deux! =)

I'm glad I can finally focus on dance and finding a job. Before the theory test, I kept feeling like agreeing to it was a bad idea because I had so much on my mind and the timing was off. Now, that I've got one down, I can focus my energy on the rest.

My goal for the coming week, help make Hui's item and finale, AWESOME! Wooooot!

2009-03-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

The last few weeks were not easy. I've been on several emotional rollercoasters. After awhile, it wasn't even pms anymore. Everyday seemed to suck and I kept feeling like I'm constantly messing up.

I wasn't dancing my best.
I wasn't preparing for piano theory as well as I should be.
I wasn't actively searching for a job.
I was tired most of the time.
I slept late and had a ton of trouble trying to get up.
I felt real horrible about myself.

There's actually not a whole lot of stuff I have to deal with right now. Things could be worse and I've had to deal with way more things than now. But for some reason, something wasn't working for me and I wasn't getting things right.

But thankfully, I think I finally got it all figured out. Got about to studying for piano and naturally felt better about everything. I'm putting in as much as I can for dance because I don't get opportunities like that often and I definitely don't want to mess this up for myself and for Hui. Basically, I'm finally calm enough to allocate time for each thing I have to do and I feel less horrid now.

As of today, I've had two consecutive good days and I hope it stays that way for awhile...

2009-02-23T23:39:00.002+08:00

You don't bother about breakfast, lunch and groceries

And you definitely don't appreciate it when I get chores done

So, I'm a maid, who doesn't get paid and gets no recognition

Sounds all too familiar

Shit

-

I should move out just to get away

Then I don't have to deal with your foul mood

2009-02-10T00:40:00.002+08:00

Lost

Alone

Frustrated

2009-02-09T22:41:00.003+08:00

Blasts from the Past

I've been getting memories from my childhood quite a bit. And I don't mean to be negative, ut I think I was quite a sad child. The only happy memories I have are of food and junk. I loved going over to my grandparent's place every week for dinner that my grandfather cooked. I don't remember specifics but I definitely did enjoy getting together and I guess I liked the food quite a bit too. I loved Hiro cake, bubble gum with temporary tattoos, ice-cream soda, Super Rings, Double Decker, icicles, Paddle Pop, etc etc.

So anyways, one of the more distinct things I remember from my childhood was my attempt to make friends with girls in my estate. I had this friend called Amanda and there are other girls she hangs out with at the estate. So she decided to introduce me to the rest of her group. We all gathered in this 'Secret Hideout' of theirs, which is no more than a storeroom actually. Anyways, this is the conversation we had...

Girl: Let's say grace!
Amanda: Ohh no, Cynthia is not a Christian.
Girl: Huh? What are you like from another planet or something?
I give an awkward laugh and everyone laughed at me.

I know it doesn't sound like much but I was really hurt. I felt so out of place and I actually believed them and thought that maybe I am weird. Ohh yes and they carried on anyways. That was probably the first few times I felt slightly humiliated, judged and mocked at.

They're the same girls who now grow up to become people I don't like. I just don't kind their judgemental, 'you're-not-suppose-to-be-here' vibe.

Girls can be so vicious sometimes...

2009-02-08T13:29:00.006+08:00

An update on my, so far, not exactly very exciting life...

The Bad

The whole deal with Esprit Salon is not over yet.
I've got to wait till this Tuesday.

I've got a wart on my foot. It hurts and it's mighty gross.

I still hate my hair.

Being a teacher is not as easy as simply applying for it.
My university is totally not recognised, which is bloody unfair.
I want to teach Geography but I don't have a bloody cert for it.

I lost touch with piano and guitar.

-

The Good

Dance is awesome. Thanks Hui!

I know what I want to do with my life. TEACH.

I'm going to take 'A' Level Geog as a private candidate if the outcome of my application is not good.

I'm taking more calcium.

I'm going to get back in touch with piano and guitar.

I saw a gorilla on the road.
It's freakish looking but also very amusing.
Looks like a Wookie gone wrong.

Celine has given me the stamp of approval.
I hope I can get it soon.

2009-01-17T22:12:00.003+08:00

Esprit Salon (VivoCity) - Worst Experience Ever
Please do think twice before you go.

I permed my hair last Friday (9 Jan '09) because I wanted a change. I wanted a natural look with soft, big curls. I ended up with straight hair the next day, after I washed and dried my hair.

I went back again on Wednesday (14 Jan '09) to see what my stylist could do for me. She gave me 2 options: rebond, or try curling again. The curls will be smaller and slightly tighter. Both are drying for my hair and takes equally long. My stylist told me to go for the curls because I look nice with curls. Two days later, my hair was straight again and I had a little 'present' along with that. Frizz and dryness.

And I paid shit loads of money for that and I totally didn't expect that it would be that expensive. It was completely out of my means, especially when I haven't got a job.

I decided to go to my sister and mum's hair stylist at Millenia Walk for an alternative opinion. I didn't go there in the first place because it is very pricey. But now that I think about it, it might have been a better idea. I wanted to find out if I did anything I wasn't suppose to do. I didn't. He told me that my hair has been damaged and the quickest solution is to cut off as much of the damaged bits as possible. But I am totally not ready for short hair.... :/

I went back to Vivo after that to demand for some sort of compensation. But I got crap instead. I got to talk to the guy in-charge and he told me some shit about Japanese perm being affected by humidity. He said that hair is heavier because of humidity. What kind of BULLSHIT is that? It is hot and humid 365 days a year, every year! And he took forever to answer my question about monetary compensation.

Turns out they can't, which is understandable. What I would settle for next is free treatment services until my hair is back to its original state. No. He offered me only one. ONE measly little treatment won't bring my hair back. It's quite obvious I need more than just one.

I ended up settling for free products instead and I had to return to the salon half an hour later because he was attending to a customer. When I returned, I received 5 bottles of free shampoo. 3 for repair and 2 for curls. I already made an appointment at Millenia Walk for a haircut so after that, I won't have curls anymore, which means I won't need the shampoo for curls. Technically, I was compensated with 3 bottles of shampoo, which is far from enough for what I paid. 'Best' thing about it is he didn't show up when I returned. He didn't bother to apologise or try to keep me as a customer. He basically didn't care...

I'm not hung up on the fact that I didn't get my money back. I get it. But the salon didn't treat my issue as something important. They destroyed my hair right before Chinese New Year. It's not like it's March or June. I went to them because I wanted nice hair for New Year. They didn't recognise the magnitude and how much it affected me. My nice hair is gone and it'll take awhile before I get it back. And they don't even have the decency to take me seriously and provide the best customer service they can.

They charge so much for their services but they obviously don't now shit about it. Satisfaction goes way beyond the moment a customer leaves the salon. Their services don't just end when someone leaves the place. It need to stand the test of time, washing and drying. And if it can't, they haven't done their job, or haven't done it the best they could.

They're providing services, not just cutting and colouring and perming and all that. They are as much about their products and expertise as their customer service. You call yourself a hair salon that's suppose to do all that, but as all as your customer service sucks, you're SHIT to me...

It's a pity I was so emotionally distraught and I could have handled it better. But all I wanted at that time was to settle it and get out.

But this is not the end of the whole thing. I will see to it that I do everything there is that I can to make sure that I get justice for all the shit that was caused.

A tarnished reputation is the least I could do...

2009-01-07T18:59:00.002+08:00

I finally received a letter from the Traffic Police. I got a ticket a few days ago because I parked along the road outside Tiong Bahru Plaza to return a DVD. It was supposed to take 2mins but this couple in front of me too extremely long to rent one DVD. So I jinxed myself by saying 'If I get a ticket, I'm making you (the couple) pay for it.'

Well, I got a hell of a ticket that cost me 3 demerit points for parking in a 'zebra controlled area'. And it said that the offence can be compounded for $120. I have no idea what that all means and I've got some research to do.

It's quite ridiculous. I can't remember the markings on the road but if I didn't remember it wrongly, it was double yellow. And I'm very sure that parking along the double yellow line doesn't carry such a heavy penalty right?

I usually don't get a ticket, but when I do, the penalty is quite bad. Shit...

Today is one of those bad days where everything seems 10 times worse than it actually is. I finally figured out what I'm going to do with my life, but there's a major roadblock. It's not as easy as I thought it was. I'm either going to take awhile to get to where I want to be, or I won't be able to get there at all. I don't mind taking awhile to get there, but the wait and not knowing what the outcome will be is scary. Where I go and what I decide to do all depends on one phone call, which I can only make tomorrow.

The waiting kills...

2009-01-02T18:25:00.002+08:00

Job Update:

The potential job that I had was a complete bust and almost a complete waste of my time. Sigh.. I got ~~partially~~ cheated. Turns out it's not exactly the most legit company, which is surrounded by mostly negative comments. So to hell with that! I'll just take my time to search for other stuff.

Maybe I should reconsider the whole teaching thing...

2008-12-29T22:29:00.002+08:00

School's over. No more exams and assignments. No more school-related stresses.

There's a potential job that I've been shortlisted for. I went for one interview today, and I'll be going for the second round of interviews tomorrow.

I'm scared.
Excited, but scared.

The job seems really promising, but it's considered part of the corporate environment. And I'm scared of the corporate environment. The professional attire (which I have a ridiculous lack of), the stress, the long hours. I imagine it as something that drains he life out of you, literally. The long hours especially, with endless OT-ing. A job in the corporate environment seems to drain the life out of you, literally.

I don't want to lose myself and my identity. I don't want to be forced to grow up and lose the fluffy, air-head, child-like version of me. I don't want to lose my passion, and end up with very little time for my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my piano and dance. I don't want my job to run my life and overwhelm me until I have no time for myself anymore.

That terrifies me. I know I'm probably thinking the worst about things, but I can't help it. And I guess I can have a job that I enjoy, and still take care and be true to myself. But it's not exactly an easy thing to do. It is, however, easy to lose track. Which is basically what I'm most afraid of: Losing track and eventually forgetting to take care of myself and the people around me.

Barf! I think too much don't I?

-

Wow! I realised that my last post was on Sep 15th... Yikes!

2008-09-15T15:42:00.003+08:00

Ok girls! Since I haven't met you in so long and didn't get a chance to talk to you, here's my latest wish list. I haven't added anything else to it though. Yes yes, I know... Don't scold me! I'll think of some soon! =)

Cyn's Birthday Wishlist 2008 (As as 15 September 2008)

~~DOMO stuffed toy~~
Book: 'The Portable Door' by Tom Holt, or any of his books
The Puppini Sisters album, 'The Rise and Fall of Ruby Woo'
A nice portable umbrella (like the one Clara has :p)
Starbucks cup
Where's Wally - Book 1 to 5, hardcover

That's all I have for now!

2008-09-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

Cyn's Birthday Wishlist 2008 (As at 4 September 2008)

~~Etsy cube wallet and MiniB by Florspace (my mama is getting for me)~~
~~'Freakazoid' Season 1 DVD (Flipsy and Celine-Puff?)~~
DOMO stuffed toy
Book: ~~'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams; black hardcover edition (Hint: I saw the book at Page One)~~ OR 'The Portable Door' by Tom Holt (or any of his other books: click here)
The Puppini Sisters album, 'The Rise and Fall of Ruby Woo'
A nice portable umbrella (like the one Clara has :p)
Starbucks cup!
'Where's Wally' book(s) ~~Book6, The Great Picture Hunt~~
~~Lego Star Wars II computer game~~

2008-08-30T16:24:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I was completely and utterly insulted and disrespected. It's date due day and it was time for editing. I was prepared for my work to be edited and cut short because we had to keep to our word limit. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I wasn't around when my work had to be edited, so it was given to someone else. This person never once consulted me for help, discussed my work with other members of my group while I'm sitting right in front of her and felt that she could do what took days for me to complete, in an hour. I tried to figure out what was the problem with my work and see if I could be of any help, but I was ignored.

When I finally managed to look through the edited bits, I realised that all of my hard work, is practically all gone. Points were combined until they didn't make sense anymore, there were no back up references or explanations as to why certain points were made and points that were important to me, were taken out. You call that team work? Because I don't think so.

Worse thing was, I didn't say anything to the person in question. I didn't have the opportunity to and I certainly wasn't in the right frame of mind to say anything. I was defensive, insulted and frustrated. Perfect recipe for disaster. Plus, during all of that time, I was treated like I wasn't even there. And that's why I was so worked up, which resulted in my inability to handle it better.

I doubt you would read this because I honestly don't think you read any of our blogs anymore. No matter... I'm actually hoping you would read this because this is probably the only chance I get to say what's on my mind since I stupidly missed it yesterday.

I really don't mean to be nasty, but I'd rather be honest and I don't want to come up with some cock idea to e-mail you or something. You know that I wasn't very happy with your work attitude, I told you that awhile back. And during this project, when you e-mailed your work on time, I was actually happy and I felt that the talk didn't go to waste. I was just about to tell you that you did a good job on this one, but I'm thankful I didn't because I would have regretted it.

I'm glad the project is over and I'm glad I'm graduating this semester because I'm honestly very glad I don't have to work with you again. I don't like to have my patience and nice-ness tested like that...

2008-08-20T11:03:00.003+08:00

Cyn's Birthday Wishlist 2008 (Updated)

Etsy cube wallet and MiniB by Florspace (my mama is getting for me)
'Freakazoid' Season 1 DVD (Flipsy and Celine-Puff?)
DOMO stuffed toy
Book: 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams; black hardcover edition (Hint: I saw the book at Page One) OR 'The Portable Door' by Tom Holt (or any of his other books: click here)
The Puppini Sisters album, 'The Rise and Fall of Ruby Woo'
A nice portable umbrella (like the one Clara has :p)
Starbucks cup!
'Where's Wally' book(s)
Lego Star Wars II computer game

2008-08-18T11:43:00.002+08:00

My birthday is about a month from now and my friends have been bugging me for a wishlist. So here it is, girls! =)

Cyn's Birthday Wishlist 2008

Etsy cube wallet and MiniB by Florspace (my mama is getting for me)
'Freakazoid' Season 1 DVD (Flipsy and Celine-Puff?)
DOMO stuffed toy
Book: 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams; black hardcover edition (Hint: I saw the book at Page One) OR 'The Portable Door' by Tom Holt (or any of his other books: click here)
The Puppini Sisters album, 'The Rise and Fall of Ruby Woo'
A nice portable umbrella (like the one Clara has :p)
Starbucks cup!

I found this awesome edition of 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' on Amazon.com. It is how pretty! It's the entire collection of all five books and it's very cheap for a 5-books-in-one thing. So so so so nice! I want I want! But I think I definitely won't be able to find here in Singapore. *sigh* ohh wells! I'll see how... I may end up not getting it at all because it's one of those things that is so pretty, I can't bear to use it! A bit of a waste if that's the case... Haha!

Anyways, that's all for my wishlist for now. I'm very sre I have a No. 8, but I can't remember what it is now.. I'll post the updated version if I happen to remember it or think of any! =)

2008-07-29T15:30:00.002+08:00

My sister sent me two Youtube links, featuring some pretty darn talented women, while I was doing work. My goodness! I'm so impressed and so amused!

The first one is Ms Kristin Chenoweth, currently in the TV show Pushing Daisies, which I absolutely adore! It's on Ch5 every Sunday night at 11pm. Here she is singing Spoonful of Sugar from Mary Poppins where Kennedy Center honoured Julie Andrews. For people who watch the show, you'll realise that she has a chipmunk-ish talking voice. I am amazed as how good she sounds! Enjoy...

The second one is Ms Cyd Charisse. I posted videos of her awhile back too. She's the one who acts, dances and sings in the old, retro, really cute movies. This one is done to Baby You Knock Me Out from the movie It's Always Fair Weather. I have no idea how she dances in these really high heels! Absolutely amazing...

Two amazing videos... An excellent break from my stupid assignment that refuses to be complete -_____-

2008-07-14T18:56:00.004+08:00

CACTUS UPDATE

My beloved cactus is officially dead. My final attempts to save it from a certain gooey death failed. Sigh...

The soil and my cactus became one...

R.I.P
14 February 2008 - 28 June 2008
You will always be remembered
The one who brightened up my room
Even for such a brief moment

Miss Venezuela won this year's Miss Universe pageant. Darn! I was hoping Miss Colombia would win. Unfortunately, the question she got didn't quite allow her to showcase her intelligence. She's so bubbly and pretty! Horrid evening gown she had to wear though...

2008-06-20T21:24:00.004+08:00

We will never be good enough in your eyes, huh? You will always see us as complete failures and yet, we're still trying so hard to prove otherwise. And you will take advantage of any chance you have to put us down. Most disgusting thing of all, you judge us by assuming things. You don't even know the full story.

I don't know why we even try. If you see us as such failures, without even the smallest thing for you to feel proud of, then why do we even bother? Why get upset when you say horrid things about us? And why try so hard to get you to think just a wee bit better of us?

Maybe we shouldn't bother. We should just rot away and become the worst nightmare we can come up with. And just show you how much of a failure we can really be. Then maybe you'll finally realise that we weren't so bad after all. And maybe you might miss our 'old' selves, the ones who weren't even close to being a failure to begin with.

2008-06-20T17:41:00.003+08:00

Look what I got? Presents!

Nice huh?
I'm so bringing the mini fan around to save me from the heat!

And this is my favourite!
So me...
♥

~

Cactus Update!

My cactus is dying, again. The only surviving red one has gone all mushy and gooey at the stem. So I embarked on a mission to try to save it! This is the end result...

The one on the left, is the stem. Or what's left of it anyway. I googled it and apparently, I'm suppose to get rid of the mushy parts, dry out the remainder of it, and then plant it again. And I'm trying to replant the red top because it's still firm and healthy looking.

It was generally an unpleasant process. The rotting stem smelt all strange. Urgh! Like how flowers smell when it's been left in a vase of water for too long and everything starts to disintegrate. My younger sister freaked out and made gagging noises while I was dealing with it. That didn't help at all! I went from being fine to actually feeling sick! Haha!

I'm praying it'll work! At least the red top... Survive! Please SURVIVE! *crosses fingers*

2008-06-14T22:36:00.002+08:00

I woke up really annoyed this morning because I had a terrible night of sleep. The worse thing is, it's because of inconsiderate and brainles people in my neighbourhood. Seems like the world can never be rid of people like that.

...

It's soccer season: Euro 2008
Last night's match: Italy Vs Romania
Time of match: About 12 midnight

So, my sisters and I were preparing to go to sleep when suddenly, we heard rowdy cheers and banging on our ceiling. Upstairs neighbour. Again... The last time there was that much noise was when they decided to have a party, make lots of noise, play hip-hop songs real loud, smoke at the balcony and leave cigarette ashes all over my dad's plants. And there was the incident with the peanuts... Ohh my goodness! The peanuts! That was downright brainless... -_-

Anyway, we were wondering what was going on and thought that they were having yet another one of their parties. My younger sister suggested that they may be watching soccer. So, we turned on the TV, watched the match for the next half hour or so and decided that they were indeed watching the match.

I figured they received some sort of warning because after two instances of loud cheering and floor banging (I really don't understand the floor banging), they stopped. We had peace. So, we decided to go sleep...

Then, when I've just fallen asleep, I woke up again to people shouting and cheering and making a ton of noise! At what felt like 1+ am! I was pissed off because they were being such asses! And it didn't help that I was dead tired from the night before and had a horrific headache. So all I wanted to do, was sleep. To top everything off, I had trouble sleeping after that.

I understand that it's soccer season and I do not want to be a party-pooper. But goodness sake, uncles and aunties (yes, I swear I heard some chick cheering as well)! It's not 12 in the afternoon, where the sun is up and so is everyone else. It's fucking 12 midnight! Past some people's bedtime! Plus, you're not living in a town, surrounded by fellow, die-hard soccer fans. If you want to cheer so loud and make so much noise, go to a fucking pub. You can shout all you want there.

The best part of it all, I found out the next morning that the match was a draw. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! ALL THAT CHEERING OVER A DRAW?! AND THERE I WAS THINKING THAT SOMEBODY ACTUALLY WON!! Then, I found out that they probably cheered so much because they bet on the match or something and ended up winning something. If that's really so, then... ALL YOU STUPID, FUCKING, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING GAMBLERS! GREEDY, NOTHING-ELSE-BETTER-TO-DO, TOO-MUCH-MONEY-TO-SPEND ASS CRACKS!! BLOODY HELL! IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN'T STAND, IT'S HAVING MY SLEEP DISRUPTED BY STUPID, INCONSIDERATE FUCKS WHO HAVE NO BLOODY BRAINS!

*deep breaths*

Sorry about the coarse language. But hello! If I can stay up with my sister, watch a match at 12 midnight and still retain our sense of consideration, volume control and brains to think! So can you. There's no excuse. There are other people around, adults who might still need to work the next morning. And what about young kids, like my neighbour?! All of you! Grown adults! So old already still so stupid! All the education you received, all the food you've consumed, all the space you're taking taking up. Have all gone to waste! Selfish bastards...

To all the guys who are soccer fans, please do realise that it's late at night when you're watching the matches. I have nothing against that. I'm going to watch a few matches myself! But please hor, be considerate can? Don't lose control, suddenly become stupid and piss people off...

2008-06-12T12:20:00.006+08:00

My green cactus is officially dead. Only the red one is left now. I buried the green one underneath the red one though hoping that the red one will be given extra nutrients. I hope it survives! It looks extremely lonely though...

In loving memory...
14 Feb '08 - 10 Jun '08

Look what I found in my house yesterday!

Sorry! It's a bad picture. It was on the ceiling, so I couldn't really get close to it. Plus, I couldn't afford to use flash. But anyway, it's a green moth with eyes as camouflage. Cool huh?

Random picture of a white mouse and a tiger watching the rain...

Bah! I can be so pointless and random sometimes... Haha!

2008-06-11T15:07:00.006+08:00

You know, it was just a question, which you could have answered. You were not expected to give any kind of complicated answer. It was simple, either a yes or a no. Such a simple question, and yet, you chose to ignore me. You looked at me for a second and looked away without saying a word. You acted like I asked you the most absurd question you have ever heard. You definitely heard my question, so there was no excuse.

I'm turning 23 and I'm an adult already. So treat me like one, will you?

We were out one day and we saw this guy playing the piano at a public performance. You were so quick to say that he plays well. I thought otherwise about the performance. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly fantastic or extraodinary. The only thing I admire about the guy on stage is that he had the courage to get himself up there and play. I could never have done that.

You really don't think very highly of us, do you? I don't need you to shower us with positive comments all the time, but what the heck? You say nothing about us and yet you are able to say good things about other people?! What do you know about them that you think deserves your praises? For all you know, the guy on stage may be rude and completely full of himself.

We try so hard to please you. Or at least try to be as good a person as we can. We don't go out, hang out with hooligans till the wee hours of the night and smoke our lives away. We don't scold you, we respect you and are grateful for the things that we have. We may not always do the right things and make the right decisions, but does that mean we do not deserve at least some of your kind comments?

There are so many things about you that I admire. You are self-less and put us first before yourself. You are strong and there are some things that you have to deal with everyday that I wouldn't even be able to handle. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for.

Yet, there are so many other things that I don't like, and it's probably not in my place to say. But I really don't want to be like you. And apparently, there are so many things about me that resemble you, and that scares me.

I tell people that I will never be like you any of you in future and I was so sure about it because I believed that when I know better, I do better. But sometimes when I think about it, I don't think I can run away from it, which is why I don't want to have kids in future. I don't want to treat them the way you do sometimes...

And it's no wonder why I can be so messed up... But if I told you anything, I know that it will just break your heart...

2008-06-10T15:13:00.003+08:00

My elder sister found something cool on Youtube today. It's Wade Robson, and Travis Wall from So You Think You Can Dance, Season 2. Although, I have some trouble spotting Travis. Anyway, I think this choreography is by Wade Robson, featured on Dancing With The Stars.

Enjoy...

I'm currently quite interested in The Beatles. All thanks to my younger sister, who one day decided to let me listen to this song of their's called Yellow Submarine. It's an amusing song!

I like that we're listening to stuff from the past instead of all the songs of the now (as in radio and MTV stuff). Because frankly, I'm really not impressed with those...

2008-06-10T00:04:00.002+08:00

I'm dim today

Like Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

~

I just realised that I might be putting myself in depression, which is just absolutely disgusting. I'm putting myself at home! Where I'm bored, I lose my mind, I don't think, I don't do anything and when I actually get my ass up to do anything, I get frustrated and upset.

Any chance I have to go out, I find a million and one excuses not to go. But then again, that's just on one occasion I can think of actually. But it's bad enough right?

Bleh bleh! I don't know! I'm fine one moment, then I'm not. I'm defending myself one moment, then I'm not. I want to go out, and I don't. I want to do something, and I don't. On certain occasions, I do but I end up pissed off.

Urgh! I'm just in a mess...

2008-06-08T22:30:00.001+08:00

It's day No. 5

And I honestly think I'm going insane

♥

2008-06-07T17:58:00.003+08:00

I've been shopping quite a bit lately, since exams ended. And it's a great time to shop actually, on weekdays especially. And the huge bonus now? The Great Singapore Sale...

But, it seems almost like a load of rubbish, if you ask me. The Great Singapore Sale... I thought it meant that everything is on sale! But no... It seems like only the older items are on sale. Then, doesn't that mean it should be renamed as The Great Singapore Stock-clearance? Still fits the abbreviation, GSS! HEH!

So far, I've seen so many things I like! Skirts, dresses, tops... But they're very expensive! And there's no discount! Too bad for me then, I guess... =(

It's been a very 'off' holiday for me, an emotional rollercoaster. Up and down, and up and down, and etc. etc. Holidays are supposed to be a time to relax, destress and catch up on stuff that I haven't been able to do because of school work and exams.

I've been slacking and doing nothing. I've been cooped up at home, watching tv. I don't even feel like going out sometimes! I'm becoming a hermit crab! So lethargic, so lazy, so annoyed.

Piano is not working for me. I've lost the motivation, inspiration and determination. My own practice sessions are rubbish. Piano lessons are crushing my confidence. I basically feel like I suck, for somebody who's been taking lessons for a year and a half -_-

I'm not sure if all the staying at home is messing up my emotional stability. But I just haven't been feeling very good lately. I feel very depressed and defeated... And the worse thing is, I have no idea what to do to make myself feel better.

I hate it when I'm in one of these moods. It sucks more to feel horrible about myself than to have something bad actually happen...

As not-myself as I am, I am very thankful and happy that I did surprisingly well for my exams this semester. It's way better than what I expected. I was so stressed out and worried that I wouldn't be able to clear the semester. And I kept thinking about what a waste it would be if I didn't, this semester being the fifth one out of six. At least I did something right...

So, I officially have one more semester to go! And I still have no idea what I'm going to do after graduation. My future is fuzzy...

The Ham and Spinach Quiche from Swissbake is excellent! Lovely crust, full of flavour and love the spinach. I'm not so much a spinach person, but this one is very nice! I want to eat somemore...

I should learn how to make it!

2008-06-06T15:50:00.003+08:00

Annoyed and Bored Out of My Mind

Just when I thought I might have a rather fruitful day today, I was so wrong.

I spent the first half of my doing mundane things. Mundane, but at least it's something other than melting into the sofa, watching tv and losing even more brain cells. Anyway, I managed to pack the stuff from the last semester Now my dining area has less clutter and me chair is free from miscellaneous stuff.

Here's the annoying part... I was inspired to play Sims after a very, very long time of not touching it at all. I got all excited thinking I was going to be able to create Sims, build houses, expand my 'Horror House' and mess my Sims up. But no...

Open for Business doesn't work for some strange reason. I only have the option of playing a custom neighbourhood, which I can't access.
The first disc (which happens to be the one that is required to play) of the original Sims and Sims Nightlife is GONE! The original Sims was loaned to my younger sister's friend, who have yet to return it. She says she did, but I don't think so. You dishonest fool! And Nightlife is just MIA. Must have taken it out of the box and forgot to put it back in.

I am so upset! I'm back to being bored again! And that's why I'm posting on my blog every other day now! Where's my Sims Nightlife...? =(

And I just realised that its been years since I last had a post with a title... Haha

2008-06-05T22:03:00.002+08:00

Lack of sleep / strange sleeping habits

+

Really short holiday
(therefore, can't find a job)

+

Too much slacking
(And I mean slacking & not doing ANYTHING)

=

Recipe for disaster
(I'm losing my mind and tons of brain cells)

2008-06-04T20:59:00.002+08:00

It's fun to share half a watermelon between 2 people!
Enough for lunch! And it's nice!

~

My cactus is dying... :(

~

A day out on an adventure! :)

2008-05-26T14:09:00.002+08:00

I want to blog but I have no idea what about. Off with random-ness I go..

Today is not a good day.

I woke up wrong and I didn't sleep well. I had trouble sleeping and woke up at least 5 times in the night. Technically, I'm suppose to just feel tired, which I do, but I also feel extremely odd. It's the I-woke-up-at-the-wrong-side-of-bed feeling (technically I can't because of the layout of my room).

One of the cactus you gave me is dying. I found it tipped over today and I thought I had knocked it over. Then I realised, it's deflated on one side. I'm so heart-broken...

Piano was a disaster..

Please, please, please let the rest of my day be alright..

It's not just today that sucks. The past few days has been very off too, like something is missing. I keep feeling like my life is going nowhere. The whole I'm-graduating-this-year-and-dunno-what-to-do-with-myself shit.

To top that all off, I've become an uninspired mess. I want to play piano and guitar, but I've either got my ass stuck to surfaces or I'm just not feeling it.

OHH MY GOD, I'M EMO-ING!

-

I want to do something about my hair.
Cut it, colour it.
I just hate it right now...

2008-04-07T20:42:00.002+08:00

Have I been forgotten?
Have I become insignificant?
Have I been distant?
Did I do something wrong?
Was I one of those that upset you greatly?

If I was, then I'm sorry.
Damn school and my inability to manage my time...

I feel guilty..
But I don't think I anything wrong.
So I shouldn't be feeling guilty.
But what the hell? I can't deny that I feel guilty..
Which means I probably did something wrong. Right?
Then again, I have no idea what it is!

There I go again. Thinking too much and conflicting myself -_-

2008-03-24T12:53:00.005+08:00

I think this is by far, the most sleep deprived I've been. Slept at 4.30am and woke up at 9am this morning. Me and my stupid, emo and slow self...

And I've got class later. I'm tempted to skip it, go home, and sleep. But I don't think I should because its a Finance class. I'm lost enough as it is and I only skipped one half of the class before. If I miss anymore, I'll be in an even bigger pile of mess and confusion. So I should just suck it up and go huh?

I'm so out of touch with so many things! I haven't watched a movie since... I can't even remember when... I haven't practiced piano properly in 10,000 years. I haven't played guitar in 10,000,000 years. I bought a guitar stand recently and displayed it 'proudly' in my living room. Then I realised that it's such a disgrace because I can't even play properly :/

I've got to find time....! Why are there only 24 hours in a day and so much work to do? -_-

2008-03-22T17:33:00.002+08:00

I feel like a complete and total mess. I don't know what to do to pick myself up. I almost don't want to do anything and just allow myself to rot and rot and rot.....

'But I'd find greater comfort, if I just lay down and died...'

2008-03-20T11:05:00.002+08:00

I haven't felt so down and so negative in awhile. I was just thinking the other day that maybe I'm finally able to cope with my intense frustration and anger. And I thought I was done hating myself. But I guess I spoke to soon.

I went from feeling good about myself, being motivated to work and being positive despite all the work that I had, to the complete opposite. I became extremely negative, unmotivated and discouraged in 3 days.

In that 3 days, I broke down twice because I had this stupid voice in my head telling me how much I suck, how much of a loser I am and that I can't do anything right, even the simplest of things. I didn't actually believe the voice in my head because I knew I could handle whatever it is I had to do. But that damn voice just won't shut up.

It got really bad and all I wanted to do was hit my head so I will pass out, pull my hair and claw at myself. Anything to distract myself. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I wanted to get up and do work or go to sleep, but I couldn't. All I could do was sit, stare into space and wallow in my own self-hate until I couldn't take it anymore.

I don't know why it gets so extreme. It's kind of scary actually. I was telling my sister that my negativity can intensify really fast, which makes it even harder for me to deal with because I have no idea when that moment comes.

I have got to find a coping mechanism...

2008-02-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

You ate bean sprouts
I am so amused
And so proud... ♥

2008-02-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

A quick update...

Happy New Year, ya'll!

My hair is purple again! For a little more than a week now and it's already starting to fade :( I'll be Blondie again soon. *sigh* I get to feel momentarily cool though! But I had to sit in the damn chair at the salon for close to 6 hrs and the finish product wasn't even as good as the first time round. *sigh again*

I had tons of pineapple tarts... Yum! Took many pictures with my sisters over the holidays. I might post them. I'll see how... :p

Ohh and I revamped my room! Made major changes to it. I'm very happy about that!

Ohh wells, off to complete my assignment I go! Sucks...

2008-01-03T00:57:00.000+08:00

Fuck you

If you didn't say what you did
I wouldn't be feeling so fucking shitty about myself

I wouldn't be trying to convince myself that I have something to be proud of

I wouldn't doubt myself

And I certainly will not think that I'm not worth anything

-

How can you praise someone else, and not do the same for your kid?

How can you think that your own kid is rotten? In your words, ‘爛’.

2008-01-02T20:48:00.000+08:00

Ohh god!

Somebody hit me!

I'm feeling so emo, it's sick...

-

I feel like crying...

2007-12-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

Incubus

Is coming to Singapore for a concert! How happy am I?! Speechless-ly, lost-for-words, happy! I thought this day would never come. And I thought I would just be dreaming about it forever.

The only bad thing about it? It's held at Fort Canning. I'm guessing it's at the same spot as where Muse had their concert. So that means, I'm terrified. I'm afraid the crowd is going to be like the one at Muse. I don't want to suffocate or get crushed and have another horrifying, near death experience. Please LAMC, invest in barriers and/or an improved security system!

Although, I am quite upset about the article in the papers announcing that they were coming. Maroon 5 and Incubus dates were published on the same article, where Incubus was described "moody alternative rockers" and that both bands "boast pretty-boy frontmen". What?! They are anything but moody. Alternative, yes. Moody? Hardly. Brandon Boyd is pretty, but he is way more pleasant to look and ogle at compared to Adam Levine. GOD!

The article so does not do them any justice. But the most important thing is, THEY ARE COMING AND THEY ARE SO GOING TO ROCK! I just got the tickets today! Wooooot!

MARCH 7th!!

-

Random Stuff

I'm sitting at the dining table. The TV in my parents' room and living room are on. Mum and Dad are watching the same channel. But they are out of sync. One TV echoes the other. It's strange... But at the same time, rather amusing...

My laptop is dying. I need to get it re-formated. But I need to back-up me files first. How though? I've got tons of files that can't all go into my thumb drive. And I don't exactly know how to re-format a computer. Help?

I've got a diabolical plan to get a drum set in my house. Hoho! I hope it works! *prays*

-

OHH MY GOD!
INCUBUS!
I still can't really believe it...

2007-12-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

Kate Nash

My current favourite new artist to listen to. She's write really cute lyrics and to me, she sounds like a cross between Lily Allen and Bjork. She plays the piano and the guitar. (Darn it!) I like the fact that every song on her album sounds different. And she's got songs that are called Dickhead, Shit Song, Pumpkin Soup and Skeleton Song. She's quite amusing...

Anyways, here are some of her lyrics..

Foundations
You said I must eat so many lemons,
'Cause I am so bitter.
I said "I'd rather be with your friends mate,
Cause they are much fitter"

Dickhead
Why are you being a dick head for?
Stop being a dick head.
Why are you being a dick head for?
You're just fucking up situations.

Birds
Right birds can fly so high
And they can shit on your head
They can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared
But when you look at them and you see that there beautiful
Thats how I feel about you

Shit Song
Darling don't give me shit
Cos I know that your full of it
(Your full of shit, your full of shit)
Darling don't give me shit
Cos I know that your full of it
(Your full of it, your full of it)

Merry Happy
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didnt want to stick around
So I learnt from you

We Get On
Then I saw you kissing that girl
My heart it shattered
And my eyes they watered
And when I tried to speak I stuttered
And my friends were like whatever
You'll find someone better
His eyes are way to close together
And we never even liked him from the start
And now he's with that tart
And I heard she done some really nasty stuff down in the park
With Michael
He said she's easy
And if your guys with the one that's sleazy
Then he aint worth your time
Cause you deserve a real nice guy

My current favourite songs of hers are Birds and Merry Happy. Birds is a rather happy song about a boy and a girl liking each other. Merry Happy has got up beat music but she's actually singing about something sad and I like that the song ends at a sad note.

Do check out her Myspace. There are 4 songs there: Pumpkin Soup, Foundations, Merry Happy and We Get On.

-

Pacman

My younger sister found Pacman online yesterday. Whoever who came up with it is a genius. Excellent way to take your mind off things... Hee!

Click here for Pacman!

Marié Digby

2007-11-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

I was watching a bunch of Youtube videos the other yesterday. This girl who plays the guitar, piano, sings, does covers and writes her own songs. She manages to figure out chords on her own just by listening to the song. And she can do the piano version of a Linkin Park song. So cool... She's got a good voice... And I'm so jealous...

Darn it! She makes the song cool...

I don't know what's more frustrating. The fact that she's talented or that she's got the guts to record herself performing. And she's pretty. Did I mention that she's pretty? Yeah. She's pretty. Irish-Japanese. So mixed. So exotic. So pretty. Man! I'm jealous. Haha!

She can do exactly what I hope to be able to do in ~~the near~~ future, minus the song writing part. I think I can't write songs for nuts, even though I've got tons of ideas. AaRrrGgghhh!

Once again, why am I not a music genius? Or have more guts? Or more confidence? Or all of the above?

Anyway, despite all my jealousy, do check her out on Youtube and Myspace. She's so cool!

2007-11-28T16:46:00.000+08:00

Never in a million years would I even dream about saying this. But ohh heck, it's already on my mind anyway.

I am NOT inspired to practice piano

I'm banishing myself for life

-

I've had tough and annoying songs to play. But I've always been able to get over it and play it because I have to. And of course, because I know that it helps me improve. With the annoying songs, they are sometimes rather addictive and it gets stuck in your head. So, forcing myself to practice them becomes easier.

This time round, I'm put under exam stress and forced to sight read. Play 2 lines of music on the spot. If I'm lucky enough, I get 30 secs. I dread that. I don't see how it helps. Maybe it's to make me less hesitant and cautious. I know I'm just going to take my time to read note by note, coordinate both hands and count at the same time. So if I'm going to end up taking my time with it, how will that help me become less hesitant?

Basically, the stuff that I have to practice pisses me off. The songs, the sight reading stuff, the scales, everything. I don't know what I can practice so that I won't piss myself off...

So uninspired... So sad that I'm uninspired...

-

I wonder what it feels like to be able to play piano and guitar effortlessly...

Why? Ohh why?
Am I not some music genius?
Or a rock star?

*sigh*
Me and my silly fantasies

2007-11-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

Wow! My last post was a month ago.

Anyways, things have been quiet and somewhat calm. Even though I do occasionally get pissed off by people, internally, I feel calm and at peace (I hate this phrase but I can't think of something else, so I'll just have to make do). No internal war, no emotional instability, no self-hate. Or at least I've been able to deal with them quite well, which I am extremely happy and thankful for.

Maybe because exams ended, like 2 weeks ago. So I've got not much on my mind to bother me. I'm proud to say that I've been slacking and I don't think I'm going to get a job. Unless I get really bored or I am in need of money. Maybe I should get a job and save up for a trip sometime next year. Hmmm... Anyway,I'm just going with the flow right now. And the flow is music and Sims... Ohh Sims... Thank you creator of Sims!

My hair is now completely blonde. All I'm left with are streaks of blonde. It's gross. I should go get it back to purple, right?

2007-10-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

S I C K

Paper's this Thurs

I'm somewhat screwed

Must feel better tomorrow

:/

2007-10-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

I broke down and cried buckets
I cried till I couldn't breathe
Which was weird because I didn't know I felt so bad
I can't remember the last time I cried so much and cried so hard

I wanted to wallow and drown in my own tears
And I cried till I couldn't get up

I'm just sick of hesitating and thinking too much
Why can't I just be free and do whatever I want just because I feel like it?
I hate thinking about what other people would think
Or whether it's going to perfect

I don't want to feel like I'm not worth anything
Or like there's nothing good about me

Days like that make me want to die
And days like that happen too often

~*~

I went to Candy Empire today
It was weird
I was asked to go back to work if I wanted to

2007-10-10T19:55:00.001+08:00

Sighing... I sigh everyday. Everyday, I get interrupted in my sleep. And that's why everyday, I'm tired. Everyday, is unproductive. Everyday, I try and try to focus, but my eyes just can't take it.

I've been extremely sensitive to sounds at night. I hear music and singing. And I can even hear the sound of mobile phone buttons being pressed. My sister could sleep through it, but I can't. How I wish I had her ability to sleep like a log.

Hence, I feel and look like shit everyday... o_O

~*~

I looked straight at someone I know today. And he looked straight back at me too. But he didn't recognise me.

Do I look that different? *ponders*

2007-09-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

I'm very happy about my birthday this year. A few unfortunate events here and there but it was great. Well, it beats last year and one other year that I will never forget. :/ But anyways, I think it's got to be the best birthday week ever! :)

Now let me show off all my wonderful presents...

That's a plate and spoon. And a CD: The String Quartet Tribute to Muse (Awesome...)

~*~

That's a Starbucks tee and cup, a pouch and one side of an earring.

That's the earring, which I turned into a necklace, and that's e zip on the pouch.

And all the nice things above came in a bag that had these messages...

"No rights..."

"No rights, nor freedom..."

Ohh the sad and unfortunate life of a slave. But hey! I still got nice things and I have the special ability to pick out more nice things from the trash...

~*~

Beautiful place with awesome drinks...

The awesome drinks... A Bloody Mary and an Apple Martini...

Note: Not both were mine. I had the Apple Martini. Yum...

And there was a whole string of random paparazzi shots of me and even more pictures like this...

"Balancing a phone on Cyn's head"

~*~

And finally...

A dress! So pretty...

~*~

Apart from all the awesome presents I got, I had a ton of fun. Filled with lots of food and pictures! Thank you all! For the awesome few days amidst the disgusting load of work that I had and still have. Which I am now desperately trying to clear. School does suck, doesn't it?

Anyways, to everyone: ♥

Cyd Charisse

2007-08-31T23:34:00.001+08:00

She's a beautiful actress cum dancer. I first saw her in Singing In The Rain. By the way, I love that show! She didn't have a character name in that one, only listed as 'Dancer'. She's wonderful and so pretty! I love watching her dance...

I hope this loads ok because when I tried to watch it, there was a bit of problem. But anyways, that's Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor at the start, who happen to 2 really amazing people. Cyd Charisse only appears at the back, she's the lady in green. So pretty! This show is just filled with insanely talented people. There's also Debbie Reynolds and Jean Hagen, she's the one with the 'annoying' voice. She can sing, very well actually... They're all so pretty and have such beautiful voices!

Singing In The Rain

And here's Cyd Charisse in Silk Stockings

Silk Stockings, it's the next DVD I want to buy. I love such old movies. Is there a genre for movies like that? It's not a musical is it? But anyways, I love the whole breaking into song and dance thing. Very very entertaining and fun to watch. It must be so awesome and so much fun to do a film like that...

So if anyone is interested in watching Singing In The Rain, let me know. I've got the DVD!

* Cheers to all amazing actors, actresses and extras who have appeared in films like that! AWESOME! ♥

2007-08-30T11:51:00.000+08:00

What a relief. The first chaotic month of assignments is over. I get 2 days off and if I'm feeling really generous, or lazy, I'll have the rest of the week off, before starting the next chaotic month of assignments. Hopefully, the next one might be less chaotic than this.

My alarm clock rang this morning at 830am and when I woke up, I realised that I don't have to do anything! I had the whole day free.. Of course, I ended up sleeping in till 1030am. Wow! I haven't done that in awhile.

So! today's unwind day! I'm looking forward to Subway for lunch (Promo ya'll! Buy a sandwich, wrap or salad and get the meal for free!) and mahjong.... Woooot!

~ * ~

Here are the designs of T-Shirts I want, but unfortunately, can't buy due to various reasons... :(

Why?! These are from threadless.com... There's a sale going on. US$10 per tee! A lot of them had no sizes left. So sad...

~ * ~

I had a great night out with the girls yesterday. I'll blog about it another day, with pictures and all. I had loads to eat and I finally had a Sangria! After looking for it for quite some time... :)

2007-08-19T17:05:00.000+08:00

I watched by far the best Jamie Oliver show this afternoon. To me, it's THE best because, I swear, there were moments when I wanted to tumble off my couch or melt into a puddle.

Today's episode is Barbecue. It's not anything like what we do here. There was a whole damn chicken, ribs, a leg of lamb and salmon. *faints*

The marinate... Ohh my goodness... The damn marinate... There were tons of different herbs and garlic and olive oil and vinegar (if I'm not wrong) and paprika and orange zest and juice and tons of other things. All I was thinking about was 'It's going to be so tasty, I'm going to die! And I really really want to eat that!'. The way he barbecued the meat... Everything looked so tender and so juicy. The ribs didn't even look like ribs anymore! It was so perfectly cooked, the meat could slide off the bone. *gasps* The lamb.. I'm not a huge lamb fan because it can be pretty tough and hard to chew. But that was, again, cooked to perfection. I would have stolen the entire leg and eat it for myself! And they were all slightly charred on the outside... Mmmm.. I have a weakness for charred bits... And a weakness for meat that slide off bones...

He also had lots of veggie, dumped in aluminum foil, seasoned with salt, pepper, olive oil and lemon juice and dumped into the barbecue. There were whole onions too, prepared the same way as the veg.

My sisters and I were all dying in our seats. Jamie Oliver's just sick la! And he's got a garden. A garden full of veg and herbs and whatever you can grow on your own. I want a garden like that too. :(

I've always wanted to have a barbecue like that. I don't want the usual stuff that people have. Crab sticks (YUCK!), sausages, chicken wings and the occasional potato? I can't remember if there ever was potato. Or was it sweet potato? Anyways, the best part of a barbecue to me are the marshmallows. I've always disliked everything else and I always remember feeling hungry at barbecues because I don't eat anything else other than the marshmallows. Maybe a couple of chicken wings and sausages, but I'm never satisfied. I strongly believe that proper and delicious food can be cooked over a barbecue. I should have one huh?

Ohh my goodness.. Bad idea to talk about this now... I'm hungry... *slouches from depression*

I have to get all of his books, especially the latest one called Jamie At Home. That's the series with the barbecue episode! I just love the stuff that he comes up with. Very simple to make and always looks damn good... I want to be his friend!

2007-08-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

Why do emotions like guilt, jealousy and envy exist?

*sigh* The 'wonderful' decisions that I make just makes dealing with such situations so much easier..

But hey, if I look on the bright side, such situations make excellent song ideas..

If only I can get it out of my system and make the words sound nice..

Why am I not awesome in every way imaginable?

2007-08-09T13:25:00.000+08:00

It's been such a long and tiring week, with quite a few misfortunes in between. And I think there's more to come... :/

I just had a HUGE lunch and I'm going to get myself a coffee later because without it, I just can't function.

Ohh and I have no ankle... Instead, I have a glob for an ankle!

*Girls, I'll post the comment one soon k? So relax yo...!

2007-07-27T18:53:00.000+08:00

Today, I'm going to be doing something rather interesting but extremely tiring. I have a midnight rehearsal later till 4am. Hmm... I've never had to dance in the wee hours of the night before. I predict that we will either be really frustrated because people are not getting things or we will all just go insane and be high on nothing. I vote for getting high on nothing. Haha!

~*~

Anyway, here's something a little more interesting...

Carl's Air Guitar

That's Carl Brutananadilewski from the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He's awesome. I don't like the beer-drinking, smoking chick though. She scares me. The show's completely random and sometimes a little bit wrong, but its awesome anyway. However, I have only seen bits and pieces of it on Youtube. I want to watch all 4 seasons and I can't wait to watch the movie...

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters

HAHA!

2007-07-25T14:36:00.000+08:00

"Can you see yourself in 5 years? If you can't, you're in trouble, please come and see me because you won't be successful."

I can't...

"Now, can you see yourself in 10 years then? If you can't, you will still succeed, but you won't be very successful."

Well, that's very encouraging...

2007-07-23T18:28:00.000+08:00

I had the dreadful sense of doubt, that annoying whisper in my ear. It's that annoying feeling of being misplaced and not belonging. But then, why would I need to belong?

I felt like I was being judged. I felt awkward and weird. But I'm not, am I? Like maybe I'm too quiet or too distant or I don't say 'hi' to enough people or something like that.

*sigh* How come like that again? I felt tiny, like I was hiding in a tiny, imaginary box.

~*~

So you're back
*sigh*
Why am I not surprised?
Why do I even bother?

~Embrace End, Monofone~
I love this song

2007-07-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

Here's a video someone made about a character from Family Guy. It's called Best of Stewie and Stewie is a genious baby with a British accent. I wonder why...

Man! I love it! The Olympics Pt 2 (Vault) and the 2 Mr Belvedere parts...
I wonder if there really is a Mr Belvedere...

2007-07-07T15:43:00.000+08:00

Butterflies and Hurricanes
At Fort Canning
Damn...
So perfectly played...

It took quite a bit for me to sit through the song and I remembered something Hui said.. Even if they did come again, the memory of the first concert will never be replaced. It's not going to be the same. It was their very first concert here and we'll never be able to come anywhere close to the Hullaballoons.. Damn those bastards!

Then it played Time is Running Out. That I couldn't take. I realised that I can only get through one Fort Canning song at a time...

Windows Media Player will be the death of me...

2007-07-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

Oops! Forgot this just now...

Celine found this SNL clip of Shia LaBeouf and Maya Rudolph. Maya is fantastic by the way. She's the same lady who's in Sofa King. I remember her in other clips as Whitney Houston, Tyra Banks and she was part of a Sex In The City spoof with Christina Aguilera.

Maya Rudolph is fabulous!

2007-07-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

I'm so...

Short tempered
Impatient
Grumpy
Slow

Aarrgghhhh...

~*~

School ain't cool yo...

The first 2 weeks are not going to be easy to get through. And it's not only because of my inability to focus, headaches and the loss of appetite (sometimes).

This workshop that's going on in the next 2 weeks puts me out of comfort zone, which is basically sitting at the back of the class, camouflaged and quiet. The last 6 rows of the lecture theater cannot be taken up, we're picked to participate in class :/ and there's the dreaded oral presentation at the end of 2 weeks. We just found out today that the oral presentation is semi-formal. No slippers, preferably no jeans but shirts, ties and suits are not necessary. This workshop is supposed to be a transition from school to work, to equip us with the skills and behaviour for the working world. I say... Wah lao eh! Ohh did I mention that the oral presentation is going to be done in groups of 3, where group members are assigned. *sigh*

I have to say that it's actually a great workshop that does prepare for the working world. But I'm so not mentally prepared for it. I want to stay a school girl, continue staying quiet and hide until I'm ready to come out.

Note to self: Come on, yo! Quit whining, suck it up and get it over and done with!

2007-06-28T15:30:00.000+08:00

Hoodoo by Muse

Is an awesome song. I love the build-up, going from guitar to piano. Unfortunately, I can never hear it in my car. The vocal at the start and at the end is too soft to be heard in my car. Maybe it's just that my car is very noisy. Haha! The only time when I heard the entire song was on my MP3, on my way home from work. And wow! It's like falling in love with Bellamy all over again. His voice and his pain, just makes me want to tell him 'It's ok, Matt. I'm here for you.' Delusional talk.. Haha!

And this is the best part of the song...

I've had recurring nightmares
That I was loved for who I am
And missed the opportunity
To be a better man

2007-06-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

I don't work at Candy Empire anymore

The schedule for the coming semester sucks and I'm NOT looking forward to it

Even then, I've had an awesome week, with plenty of pleasant surprises

I'm looking forward to watching Transformers tomorrow and Christina Aguilera this Saturday

♥

-

I'm inspired to...
Play piano
Play guitar (if only the strings were still alive)
Read

And I'm not inspired to...
Blog

And hence the slightly anyhow post where I try to just dump stuff in without thinking...

HAHA!

2007-06-20T18:40:00.000+08:00

Update about the situation at work.

I'm only scheduled to work till this 23rd even though I told them I am able to commit till at least the first week of July.

I asked about it, but didn't get an answer. I was told to ask my boss, whom I don't get to see very often. So if I don't see him or he cannot be bothered to tell me, then I won't bother to ask. I'll just treat Saturday as my last day.

~*~

I remembered photos I took while I was at MINDS cafe in Orchard. Me and my friends played Scrabble and for the first time in my life, we kept scores! I started with a beautiful word...

Poo!

And Guess what?! I won!

Cool eh?

~*~

In Loving Memory of Wembley Jr.

Wembly Jr died on Sunday, 17th June. Hui named it Wembley because we found it on the day that Muse was playing at the Wembley Arena. We wanted to go really badly by the way. Jr because it's short for June Rain (JR) and it was a rainy day. So sad... Poor Wembley Jr... Poor Wembley Jr's parents...

I love the picture. It's so cute, isn't it? :(

~*~

There are fighter planes flying around overhead yo! Coool!

Just For Laughs and Entertainment

2007-06-17T00:36:00.001+08:00

Saturday Night Live is fantastic. The people behind it are fantastic. Just check these out...

A spoof of The OC. It's called Dear Sister.

There is a scene in the actual OC with the exact same song. But with SNL being SNL, everything must be overdone.

Thank goodness I didn't have to dance to this song after I watched the video. I'd just crack up, which obviously does not go with the choreography.

-

This is just another one of SNL's random things

Presenting, Sofa King

Gotta love Shia LaBeouf...

~*~

Hui showed me something really exciting today...

It's our SYF '03 performance! I never had it and never saw it.
Ohh I do miss this dance. *sigh* I just miss dance. Period.

2007-06-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling good today. Turned up for work and realised that I didn't need to work today. Because someone changed the schedule and I didn't know about it. But ohh well, it's another story for another day.

~*~

Jr.

It is a new friend I met today. I shall give it a proper introduction another day when it is earlier and I'm feeling more awake...

♥

2007-06-15T14:44:00.000+08:00

It's happening again
I feel the disgusting pinch of jealousy
Not pinch actually, that's too mild
more like a slap or a punch or a kick

Am I consumed by work? That's a definite no.
Have I shut myself out from the outside whole that is not my family?

So why?

Words to describe how I feel now:

Heartbroken
Giddy and faint
Disgusted
Unwanted
Insignificant

And the famous ever present thought in my head: No one will care even if I died today...

Let's Get Cheesy

2007-06-05T12:58:00.000+08:00

I came home last Friday and to my surprise, little sister Celine was going through our really old CD collection. Ohh my goodness! I had a good laugh...

We've got really funky CDs! Compilation albums are the bomb yo! There's stuff like Smash Hits: Dance Party, Max 5, MTV: Music... I Like and MTV: Non-Stop Hits. HAHA! Songs in there require dramatic lip-syncing and maximum cheesy-ness. It's just not complete without it. There's songs by people like Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, BBMak, Trademark, Mero and Five.

Ohh my goodness! Five! I have their first 2 albums and now Celine is getting a little obsessed by it. She's listening to their songs again. She's so going to kill me for announcing this to the world. Haha!

Backstreet Boys... Ah... I went for their concert ya'll! Haha! I was one of those Nick Carter fans. Eeeeeee... But I have to say, at least they had some nice songs, like Five did. The only song of theirs that I would hear even now is 1o,000 Promises. Even then, I'll only listen to the live version. It's really really nice.

And then there's people like Steps, whom I used to like. I never realised until the other day that I don't remember their songs to have such heavy techno beats. *shivers* A1... I hated them before and I still hate them now. Thank goodness i had taste buds! If I ever liked A1, it'll probably be the most embarrassing fact about me...

My gah! Have you ever heard of Point Break? 3 guy boy band, of which, only one of them can sing. One whispers and the other just doesn't do anything. They are all really good at looking pretty though. Check out the lyrics! Classic boyband lyrics!

~Do We Rock~

Do we rock, yeah yeah
Take me to the top, yeah yeah
Don't you stop, yeah yeah, whoa

Bring it on down to the next track
Sliding it to you on the lines of a kick back
Coming from a source, the Point Break force
Gonna rock you so good no choice, no peace.

~Freakytime~

B.U.M and P, G.R.I.N.D
Bump and grind, just be mine tonight

Coz if your looking for a freaky time
Freaky time baby
You can always count on me
I'll be waiting
(and repeat)

This is the best...

~Apocadelic~

Now we've been thinkin' about the styles for a while
And trippin' over what's hot and what's not and what's gone under and over
But now it's time to release a kinda policeendorsement not to say it
Ain't reinforcement see
We're talkin' about the funk not the everybody punk of the riggy diggy jiggy
Of your regular punk who thinks he got the flow,he got the rhyme
WHOAH, that ain't what me railin' on
No!it's the pop and the rock 'n' the funk and the rap
Then we mix it all together makin' all kinds of crap
So that tomorrow 'n' today
Hey it's ok, Don't be frightened by the change
But don't dare get in our way of play
Coz all we hear is people askin' us how with APOCADELIC
Vibe you know we counldn't allow the sound to get around astoundin' us
WOW!!!....Ha...Ha.....

APOCADELIC..................
APOCADELIC..................
APOCADELIC..................
APOCADELIC..................

Ahhhhh!! What the fuck? There's another verse to this song, but hey, let's not go there. It doesn't make any sense! *collapses from too much cheese and laugher*

~*~

Vanilla Ice takes the number one spot on MTV's Top 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders with Ice Ice Baby. What else right? Way to go!

Such an enjoyable show. Good job MTV!

Let's go on to something a little more serious.

It's happening again. I'm suddenly feeling out of place. At work and with my friends. I've felt like that for as long as I can remember. It sucks. I thought I was done with that. I thought I've finally found people that I feel completely at home with. The same thing is coming back to haunt me again. Let's hope I'm just thinking too much.

~*~

Listening to Muse is making me sad again. Sunburn... It gets to me all the time.

*sigh*

2007-06-01T15:56:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling happy now. I just had my first piano lesson in a month and it's by far the best lesson I've had.

I've always gone for lesson with all the butterflies in the world in my stomach and I mess up all the time. Stuff I can play perfectly fine at home comes out like a bunch of crap when I'm there. It's like I haven't been practicing and it pisses the living daylights out of me. It's a natural and irrational fear that I develop the moment I step out of the car and I could never compose myself enough to 'perform' well for her.

But today, I don't know what changed. Maybe it's all the songs that I've been trying to figure out in the past month, I don't know. I went feeling slightly afraid and nervous but this time, I managed to get over it and I actually did a good job. I'm so proud of myself! Hee

~*~

The maid episodes that's been happening at home has been driving some of my family members a little mad. I'm technically neutral but I complain because I want the room space that's taken up by the maid. Haha! That's why I haven't really blogged about it, but my sister did. So if you want to know what happened in greater detail, do check out the links:

Episode 1: The Disappearing Act
Episode 2: The Appearance of an Unexplained Recipe
Episode 3: What Was She Thinking?

~*~

Ohh my goodness! I just found out that Muse is playing at Red Rocks in Denver. It's THE best place for a concert ya'll and it's on September 18th this year. Perfect gift for me and Celine don't you think? *hint hint* ;)

2007-05-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

I destroyed the fucking strings on my guitar

I'm just hopeless

2007-05-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

I bought lots of gummy from work today. I'm a sucker for gummies. Cola, gummy bears, sour cola, those strips of sugar coated sour stuff, etc etc. I'm also a sucker for chips, chocolate-coated biscuits, and chocolates, mostly dark (Damn it! Where's my Wonka Fudge Hats?!). So, working at Candy Empire is probably the best job I've found so far. I'm surrounded by the sins of the world, I can ask my colleagues for recommendations and I get 10% off when I buy stuff. It's not much, but at least I get a discount. There's a ton of stuff I want to try!

So anyways, I got off work slightly later today because new stock came in today and help was needed to sort things out. There were boxes and boxes of Starburst. The Sour Gummy Worms game me such a pleasant suprise and made me feel excited for the next 15mins or so. I love love those and I get to buy them tomorrow! *cheers*

~*~

Yesterday evening, Monofone was on Power 98. It's such an exciting and sort of weird feeling to hear my (talented) friends on the radio. They were part of the Power Jam some time ago. I can't remember if they won though. But anyway, they were scheduled to be on from 5pm to 6 pm yesterday. I was watching a DVD and I thought I would miss it because the show ended at about 5.45pm. I decided to turn on the radio anyway and to my surprise, Time Is Running Out was on. It was compulsory to scream of course. Guess what?! After Muse was Monofone! How awesomely appropriate and exciting! So I didn't miss them afterall. I was telling my sisters 'Woah! I know them! I know them!'.

I'm so proud of them. And so honoured to be their friend ♥

~*~

Remember the praying mantis that was in my house for many many days?
I have a picture...

That's the one that landed on me!
*shivers*

~*~

Pepperidge Farm is the shit yo!

If you ever go to the supermarket, NTUC or Cold Storage or wherever, go search for Pepperidge Farm stuff. I had these biscuits that were in the shape of seashells. They're soft chocolate biscuits with one chocolate-coated side and mint bits on top. *melts* I can't remember what they're called but damn! They're good...

This is the one that I have at home now. It's not the seashell ones but ohhhhhhh myyyyyyy...

If it were physically possible, I would've been reduced to a puddle...

Like what Celine told me before I tried, my eyes are going to widen the moment I eat it. And they did... *melts into puddle and evaporates*

~*~

On one bored day, I was inspired to do this...

~*~

I suddenly remembered! Monofone is going to record Embrace End next. I can't wait! It's my favourite song of theirs...

~Out For Last, Monofone~

2007-05-25T21:19:00.000+08:00

Work, or a lack of it

*sigh* I'm going to miss work again tomorrow. Yesterday, I was chased out of the store because I was still sick, I couldn't speak and hear myseld properly. I'm feeling a lot better now, but goodness knows if I'm going to react to the cold of the building, so I better stay away.

It's so disappointing that I spent my entire week at home, drugged and asleep. Even though I feel better now, I'm still suffering from the effects of drowsiness and sleeping the whole of Wednesday. I still feel somewhat whoosy and unable to focus properly. The scariest thing I had to do was drive all the way to Woodlands feeling like that. I felt like I was a potential hazard on the road, to myself and everyone else using it. I was just very thankful that I arrived safely.

And because I was feeling so dazed still, I had to postpone piano, yet again. I haven't had lesson in a month because of exams and my teacher went overseas, so I was really looking forward to the lesson today. I cancelled it in the end because it would be waste anyway.

~*~

With my spare time today, I decided not to take my meds and sleep. Instead, I decided to make full use of the time I have and take my meds at night.

I was on my piano the whole afternoon and I realised that it is a MUST for me to move it elsewhere. I really can't stand through the afternoon.

Anyways, I got slightly demoralised today because I figured out the intro of Idaho, but I can't play it. It involves coordination and mine's not that good. So I simplified it, which is an accomplishment still. But, I can't help but have this feeling of being incomplete. Knowing what it's supposed to sound like, but not being able to play. It's a new feeling which I don't particularly enjoy having -_-

I've got to find another to song to learn! Someone give me another song to learn!

~*~

Ever watched My Super Sweet 16 on MTV before? Well, I HATE IT. With a passion. And I will never understand why my sisters still want to watch it. I bet in the near future, some ass will come up with My Super Sweet 18 or 21 or whatever age that is significant for whatever reasons.

The show represents everything I hate in people with money. Correction. People who spend their parents' money, the money's not theirs. It disgusts me. What people do with their money. Multiple designer bags that look identical, diamond encrusted watches, designer dresses and their 'I'm not gonna get that if it's less than like $10,000' attitude. *pukes*

Tell me why every damn birthday girl/boy gets a car! They can't even drive it. BMs, Merc, Lexus. I once saw this 16 year old chick who looks like she's 30, she seriously looks like an auntie, she got a custom made Hummer. A Hummer! It's been sliced in half and an extra set of doors have been added. It's a fucking 6-door Hummer, only one in the world. It's so not fucking practical. I guess they don't care much about gifts being practical.

I could go on forever, but I'm already fuming from typing out just 2 paragraphs. If I go on anymore, I'm going to turn into Peter Petrelli (exploding man!).

~*~

I LOVE STARBURST

Come Back Down, Lifehouse
It's ______ song
*giggles*

2007-05-23T13:02:00.000+08:00

I'm living with someone whom no one really trusts. Her behaviour is questionable and she does things without thinking. She's given specific instructions that she doesn't follow.

I don't want to be mean and jump into conclusions. I'm trying to be neutral about it and give her a chance. But unfortunately, she's not giving me or anyone in my family a chance to trust her. So maybe we should just send her back and do without a maid. That way, me and Celine can have extra space in our room and I can finally move my keyboard away from that awkward spot.

I have no idea what the decision is going to be, but I am secretly hoping we decide not to hire another maid only because I desperately want to revamp my space and not have 3 people squeezed in a room. I'm tired of not having a proper table, my notes and textbooks are in cardboard boxes, I don't have a spot for my laptop, I don't have accessible shelves, everything is all over the place and I don't exactly have a spot in my house to chill out.

*sigh* As much as I don't want a maid, the decision is not up to me because I'm not the one who is dependent on one. I can do without but that doesn't mean everyone else feels the same.

~*~

There is another preying mentis in my house. This one is brown and it seems like it is attracted to brown things in my house. I guess it thinks that the brown stuff are part of nature. It's been in my house for 2 days now. My sisters first spotted it on Monday night before we went to sleep. At that time, we didn't know what it was, only that it's huge.

But today, I confirmed that it was a mentis because... It landed on me. Yup it did. I was happily sitting at the dining area and talking about the issue of the day and I saw something from the corner of my eye and felt something land on my chest. But when I looked down, I didn't see anything. Then I felt something at the back of my neck and I reached for my ponytail and I touched it (Ohhhhh Lordi!). It flew!! I touched a preying mentis! I had a SUPER close up experience with it! Eeeeew eeeeeew eeeeeew eeeeeeew eeeeeeeew!!!!

I freaked ya'll... I got immediate goosebumps! And it's still in my house... :/

~*~

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I want to watch! But anyway, as everyone know, Chow Yun Fat is in it. And there's the famous line 'Welcome to Singapore!' Apparently, I heard from my sister yesterday, that people are not happy about that. They think that it makes Singaporeans look bad..

Like what?! Can you believe that?! It's like the middle-eastern people condemning 300 because it portrays them in a bad light. It's ridculous. It is afterall, just a film and previously, Singapore was a base for pirates. Why are people so sensitive? I was actually happy that Singapore was mentioned, more than once. In the first one, Jack Sparrow said 'Clearly, you've never been to Singapore.' I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but hey! Our sunny island is mentioned!

Chill out, man! The show's supposed to be funny and everything is done for fun, laughter, peace and joy... Chow Yun Fat's in it! Go, Mr Chow! I'm so proud of you!

~*~

Can't focus
So drugged

Peter Petrelli

Hiro Nakamura

..........

2007-05-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

Nerina Pallot's Idaho is really hard to figure out. But if I do manage to figure it out, it'll be my biggest accomplishment yet! ♥

I can't wait for June 30th! Christina Aguilera is coming for a concert. Finally! Ohh, that voice of hers... I think I might actually cry...

~*~

My favourite documentary by far is Planet Earth, narrated by Sir David Attenborough (he's so cool by the way). I'm looking forward to this week's episode! The advertisement I saw was about frogs, tree frogs. I love frogs. I think they're so cute. I might try catching one if I have the courage to, just like I tried to catch a lizard in my house once (remember Steve Jr.?). But I didn't because it was too small and I was afraid of crushing it to death.

I saw a frog just now. After I got back from the doctor, but I was too sick to run after it. We'll see! If I do catch a frog or a lizard or whatever I dare to catch, I'll document it! Haha :)

Oh oh! I'm also looking forward to the last episode because it's all about creatures of the deep sea... It can be scary but it can be really amazing as well.

~*~

All About Work

I've been given an extra day off and I'm going to miss work again tomorrow because of the dreaded flu that's infecting half of Singapore. So in this entire week, I'd have worked only 3 days. *sigh*

Last week was great. I learned many things and I can somewhat remember the products in the store, I'm good with the customers and I'm a good employee. I think... I hope! And I conclude that kids like me. I managed to get a toddler to smile, wave and attempt to give me a flying kiss. I sort of made friends with this chinese boy who was about 6 or 7 years old. He waved goodbye to me after his mother took him out of the store. That was so fun!

Despite loving my first week at work, I'm starting to see some negative aspects of management and I conclude that every organisation, whether it's a simple store or some corporate business, has potentially messed up management. Point is, I think my boss might be biased against me. He's displaying signs of questionable behaviour.

Just yesterday, he made me feel dispensible and not trust-worthy. Well, a series of events happened yesterday that made me feel that way. It was only after I told several people and started thinking about my experience yesterday that I realised that something might be up. I'm only just speculating and I'll have to observe his reaction to my other colleagues to see if I'm right.

I was questioning myself the whole of yesterday, wondering if I did or said anything wrong. Did I portray myself as someone who cannot be trusted? Did I come across as if I wasn't capable or I'm slacking too much? Is it because I'm 10mins late sometimes? Or I take 10mins too long on my break? Maybe... But then again, as a manager, if I'm doing something wrong or something that he doesn't like, shouldn't he tell me and give me a chance to change and prove otherwise?

*sigh* I feel a sort of negative energy from him after whatever happened yesterday. I might just be thinking too much or being overly sensitive but I'll give him a chance to prove to me that he is not biased. Damn it! Do I look like someone who will steal?

Please please prove me wrong. I like working there and I like the pay...

~*~

Ohh! Drowsiness is setting in. Hands are shaky and my mind is shutting down...!

2007-05-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

I got a surprise at work today. My mum and my sister came and I had company during lunch. Anyway, I had a papaya today and it tested like... Beer. Yes, beer! I thought I was going to get high for awhile. But of course, I didn't. It'll be interesting if I did though...

The beer papaya

~*~

While having a pack of gummy bears, Celine came up with a brilliant idea...

Sylar strikes!

"My name is Sylar!"

Sure it is...

~*~

My stamp!

Cool eh?

~*~

Check out what I found in a veggie dish months ago

Compare it with this...

Cool eh?

~*~

That's the end of my random pictures post. I had a whole stash of pictures that I've been wanting to post but I kept procrastinating. Haha!

2007-05-18T13:27:00.000+08:00

Day off ya'll!
♥

~*~

Doughnuts
Pear
Mei Cai

~*~

I bought stuff from work:
Arnott's Mint Slice Balls
Giant Wonka Bar
Tofinek's Caramel Waffer

WOOT! They're nice...

~*~

I finally got to hear Absolution in my car
After weeks and weeks of driving without it
I realised that I miss it a lot
Ahh... The memories...

I FEEL ALIVE!

2007-05-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

And all I needed was lots of sleep... Hee!

~*~

I missed my piano
But I got to practice just now
♥

~*~

There was a rather strange customer who came in today and made lots of noise. I missed part of the action because I went to the toilet. But anyways, when I got back, I heard this guy talking really loudly. From the bits and pieces I caught, I think it's about the guy getting bad service last night.

This is what I heard...
'I had a $1,ooo bill that I wanted to break into smaller notes. I went to Marche and they happily changed for me but when I came here and bought $100 worth of goods, I couldn't do the same...' (missed a bunch of stuff) '...Can a person hold 2 jobs in Singapore? Because he (supervisor) flashed his police ID...' (lots of Hokkien) '...I want to call the police and have his badge removed...'

Chill yo! I don't know what the big deal about that is, but I think he got ignored for awhile and the cashier who attended to him told him we didn't have enough change. So he came back today and demanded for an explanation. I don't know why a police badge was invloved. But the guy was angry and wanted to speak to the manager and stuff. It's most probably a really really minute issue that was blown out of proportion. Apparently, I heard that the guy is one of those people who thinks he's the king of the world just because he's got money. Anyway, he eventually left and later in the day, I heard that the supervisor invloved and one of my colleagues went to the police station to settle stuff. Damn, it's serious.

The scary thing about it is, I was told that if the guy comes back again, we'll have to call the police or security. Please, please don't come back! Be at peace!

~*~

There's a killer litter at my place. Neighbouring block. Someone threw a whole bunch of tos downstairs. My dad saw but he couldn't identify which floor it came from. It's super dangerous because where the toys land, is where people are likely to walk to get to that block. The insensitivity of some people. Such nausea-inducing behaviour. *sigh*

Exhausted

2007-05-15T20:55:00.003+08:00

It's only day 2 and I'm axhausted. Work's actually been great. It's not so much the overused legs that get to me. What bugs me is the fact that I didn't have a good rest at night. I can't focus properly, I yawn a lot, I'm prone to making mistakes and I don't have a high tolerance of tired legs. I'm honestly fine with it considering I had to endure similar discomforts for 6 months of my life while working at Subway.

I'm so thankful that I'm surrounded by candy and all things sinful, and my supervisors and my colleagues are all really nice. Unlike Subway, I didn't have to deal with all the customers that came in and out. The only contact I have with people is when they've got something to ask. So compared to Subway, I have less annoying people to deal with. When I'm at work, I'm not annoyed like I am at Subway, I feel that everything that happens there is tolerable. Actually, the only thing I had to tolerate so far is my aching body from standing around for about 8 hours. I'm actually very happy, if only I didn't have a total lack of sleep.

On Sunday night, I couldn't really sleep because I was nervous about my first day and I only had about 5 hours of sleep or so. Which is completely understandable. But, I didn't have a good night's sleep on Monday night even though I was totally exhausted, and I went for yoga class after work that day. I thought I would just be knocked out the moment I hit my bed. But no... I didn't sleep until about 1am and I think I woke up earlier than 7. So, no amount of eye cream is going to get rid of my super dark circles and bags. *sigh*

The Tag Gun

I got to use a tag gun! Which is one of those things that you use to paste price tags and supplier information. When I was first introduced to the tag gun, I was excited because I've always wanted to use one of those. But, I overused it. I had boxes and boxes of junk to tag. Each item in the box had to be tagged. Supplier tags go at the back and price tags go in front of the bag. My first mistake: I pasted the supplier tag in front (for some strange unexplanable reason). I did that for 3 boxes of biscuits. So how? Unpack, tear and tag again. I was telling my sister that I'm going to have nightmares about the tag gun. In my dream, I will have a million boxes to tag and I will have a voice in my head telling me 'Supplier tag in front...'

Cashiering

Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to be a cashier yet, which is good considering I would have miscalculated endless times. But I did get to help pack the items in a bag and weigh the pick 'n' mix! haha

~*~

Today, something interesting happened. The branch supervisor came to talk to me and asked me about my parents and my hobbies. (haha!) I ended up having a half an hour conversation with him about music! He was telling me about bands like Nirvana, Oasis, Live, Audioslave and a lot of other bands which I can't remember now. Guess what? He says he's going to loan me his CDs! How cool is that?!

We also talked about the most uncomprehendable genre of music: Techno. We both hate it with a passion. Like what's up with that?

Hmmm.. That's about all my brain can squeeze out right now. So today was a generally interesting and happy day. And I need sleep. Like now...

* Note: So sorry if certain sentences don't sound right or things don't link ;)

Exhausted

2007-05-15T20:55:00.002+08:00

~*~

2007-05-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have a job! Candy Empire, Vivo City. Do come visit me. I'm so glad I managed to find a job within the first week of my holidays. Woot! Yeap! So I shall anounce to everyone, I work the morning shift, which is 9am to 6pm. So, I'll only be free to go out after 6. Haha! Ohh yeah! And my off days are currently Fridays and Sundays. Yay!

So friends, I'm not as free as before. :( But at least I don't work the night shift, which is 1.30pm to 10.30pm. If I work like that everyday, I'll have not much of a life yo!

I hope I like it there! :)

~*~

I'm pissed ya'll...

Story of yesterday

I was travelling on the AYE and on my way to Clementi last night. Happily travelling on the second lane and I wanted to cut over to the third. So my signal was on, I checked my mirrors and blindspots and everything was clear. While I was slowly moving into the third lane, I heard the engine of some car. One of those sports car sounding engines. Before I knew it, two pimped up cars sped right pass me on the left. My natural reaction was to swerve back to the second. To my horror, more idiotic pimped up cars sped by on my right. So basically, I swerved right to avoid the dudes on the left and swerved left again because of more idiotic dudes in their idiotic cars.

I could have died ya'll! Together with the passengers in my car. There were at least 5 of those disgustingly, idiotic-ly, inconsiderate, uncaring, stupid dudes in their ohh-I'm-so-cool-in-my-fast-car-and-I-can-pick-up-tons-of-chicks-in-it kind of cars. It's a public fucking road. I cannot believe that you are stupid enough to endanger yourselves and (ohh my god) all other road users just because you have a 'need for speed'. Unlike you, we want to get to places like home SAFELY. Ever heard of that?! S.A.F.E.T.Y?! I don't think so...

To the dudes in their 'cool' cars with totally uncool morals: May karma find you...

That alone pisses me off. I just don't understand how people can be so in thier own world and think of nothing else but themselves.

As if that's not enough...

I basically just got partially scolded. You see, after the last idiot zoomed past, I hit my horn. But not much of a sound came out. So people actually told me that I shouldn't have done that. And that I was looking for trouble. If that's the case then I might as well have my car horn removed since I'll never know who is the crazy one who will whack me to bits if I used it. What's the horn for then?! It's for alerting people, is it not? So what? I shouldn't use it then? If I have a very good reason to use it, then I should. And (touch wood), if I do get whacked one day for using it for a damn good reason, then we know who the ass is. Plus I was scared and I felt like I had to do something like make some noise or something. The horn was the best way to go.

So I don't understand... I don't like to be bullied. Under circumstances like these, you HAVE to do something. It's the fucking horn! All it does, is create noise. No physical damage is done to anyone or anything. You can't even go deaf with it. Ohh right! Ohh my god! If I hit the horn, people will start disintegrating on the inside and die because their insides turn to mush! Right! -_-

Whatever was said made me feel like I'm wrong for trying to defend my rights to safety on the road. That is utter rubbish!

~*~

You can't tell me stuff like that
You actually don't have the rights to
I'm suppose to respect you
But I find it really hard to do that

You don't even know how I drive
So don't presume you know
And DON'T tell me that I should do this or that
Or that I have to remember this or that
Like as if I don't already know
I do the things that you presume I don't
I don't do the things you presume I do

I dare say I'm a safe driver
And whoever disagrees, please tag me and let me know

I'm going to burn in hell for this

Drizzly.Sunshine.World

Falling Slowly...

*Fill in the blanks*

Marié Digby

Cyd Charisse

Just For Laughs and Entertainment

Let's Get Cheesy

I FEEL ALIVE!

Exhausted

Exhausted

Fill in the blanks