Friday, November 13, 2009
I love listening to Muse. Their music is inspiring, passionate and empowering. I feel like I can do anything...
The best thing is, they are coming to Singapore again! On 3rd February 2009 at the Indoor Stadium! They are headlining BIG Night Out 2010, along with other acts which have yet to be revealed.
Anyway, I'm going to buy the standing tickets, take leave on that day and camp outside Indoor Stadium for front row standing spots. And I'm going to brave all moshing that may (or may not) happen. I don't quite care.. Haha!
The best thing is, they are coming to Singapore again! On 3rd February 2009 at the Indoor Stadium! They are headlining BIG Night Out 2010, along with other acts which have yet to be revealed.
Anyway, I'm going to buy the standing tickets, take leave on that day and camp outside Indoor Stadium for front row standing spots. And I'm going to brave all moshing that may (or may not) happen. I don't quite care.. Haha!
*Prays and hopes there's no moshing**Prays and hope that there's a VIP package I can get*
*Prays and hopes that the VIP package includes a meet-the-band opportunity*
*dies*
*Prays and hopes that the VIP package includes a meet-the-band opportunity*
*dies*
8:52 PM
Sunday, October 04, 2009
This is the first week I gave myself social activities after work. I met up with Wei Qin, Clara and Hui Yi for dinner on Tuesday, went for a jog in NUS with the Garlic and met Hui for the Topshop party on Thursday. I had a great time on all those days!
And then I had 2 accomplishments. First, I gave a presentation to my MD, which I only had 15mins to prepare. And I lead the first 10mins of a meeting with a group of SMU students who needed our help. Both went really well, of course, it wasn't perfect, but I was praised by my MD and colleagues, which is always a good thing.
But my week still ended badly and I'm in a mess now. I've been thinking a lot, too much for my own good. My job is starting to make me doubt myself. I'm not confused about my job scope, but I do realise I have tons of things to learn and I'm slowly losing my strength to fight.
I'm struggling to learn the trick of the trade. I'm learning to improve myself, learning to deal with my boss, learning to interact with the other departments, trying to pick out red tapes, figuring out the DOs and DON'Ts, trying to be more alert and observant. And I'm doing all of that at once. It gets overwhelming, especially because this is my very first job and I don't have any point of reference.
I've been told that I'm deproving and falling behind and it's confusing because I don't think I have and I'm not sure why I seem to be giving people that impression. My colleagues told me I have improved over the last two and a half months, but I'm being told otherwise, which makes everything even more confusing. Who do I believe?
My job seems to be challenging the very person I am and there are some job requirements that seem to be against my beliefs. I'm trying not to give in to peer pressure and doing things that are out of my character just because my job 'requires' it. But I find myself tempted to succumb to it. It frustrates me because I see it as I'm not standing my ground.
I also realise that I've been second guessing and doubting myself. I seem very easily swayed by people's comments. If people say I need to be 'whacked' in order not to be slack, I believe them. But in actual fact, I don't think that's true at all.
All of that boils down to the fact that I'm unsure of myself and I'm not standing up for myself. But why am I like that in my work environment? Is it because the environment just isn't suitable for me? Or is it because I'm just not strong enough?
As of right now, I feel that I'm not strong enough to take it all...
3:49 PM
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I've been in a confused mess.
I see my friends meeting up with each other or doing things that they love, and I get jealous. Those who dance, are still dancing. I gave that up. They're meeting up with each other, while I'm left out of the fun, and I'm cooped up at home or at work.
Is there something wrong with me? I keep feeling like people are moving on with their lives and doing exciting things, while I'm falling behind and abandoned. Or maybe I'm confused and unsure of myself. I'm struggling to find myself. I don't really know who I am or what I'm good at. And I don't seem to have much to be proud of.
I seem to keep wanting to impress people and I'm trying too hard to be cool, when I'm not.
I'm tired of being left behind and unnoticed. I want to stop feeling sorry about myself and for once, start feeling proud of who I am.
I see my friends meeting up with each other or doing things that they love, and I get jealous. Those who dance, are still dancing. I gave that up. They're meeting up with each other, while I'm left out of the fun, and I'm cooped up at home or at work.
Is there something wrong with me? I keep feeling like people are moving on with their lives and doing exciting things, while I'm falling behind and abandoned. Or maybe I'm confused and unsure of myself. I'm struggling to find myself. I don't really know who I am or what I'm good at. And I don't seem to have much to be proud of.
I seem to keep wanting to impress people and I'm trying too hard to be cool, when I'm not.
I'm tired of being left behind and unnoticed. I want to stop feeling sorry about myself and for once, start feeling proud of who I am.
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On the other hand, I'm getting my Muse Box Set soon. So I should be happy, shouldn't I?
On the other hand, I'm getting my Muse Box Set soon. So I should be happy, shouldn't I?
5:32 PM
Sunday, September 06, 2009
I owe my friends my birthday wishlist. But then again, I don't really have a wishlist this year...
So after some thought, this is what I came up with:
So after some thought, this is what I came up with:
- Hand held fan (but not the electronic, battery-powered ones)
- Portable name card holder (like the ones from the Metropolitan Museum)
Bigger name card holder for me to put in my office- Flat cushion/stuffed toy that I can use as a back rest or for me to hug in my office
Handkerchief (not the 'uncle uncle' kind)'Shi Wan Ge Wei She Me' DVD box set (HAHA!)- A new mouse for work
- New camera to replace my current out-of-date one
Muse 'The Resistance' Vinyl Box Set - I'm buying this for myself!- CD + DVD, including The Making of The Resistance DVD
- Vinyl
- Muse USB
- 12" Art Print
That's all I have for now. I realised that quite a few are for work.. :p Ohh wells...
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Speaking of work, I actually like going to work and I don't dread it at all. And I realised recently that I am having the same feeling that I had when I was in dance in JC.
Hui called it the Dance Studio Syndrome. We used to have really long and tiring rehearsals and even though rehearsal has ended, we don't want to go home or we won't mind staying late.
It's quite awesome, really. I've been staying at work till rather late nowadays and I don't mind that at all. I also don't mind the fact that I've got a lot of work to do. The only thing I mind is feeling tired, perpetually tired. And that I don't have much time to meet Garlic or my friends. Other than that, I enjoy what I do and the people I work with.
I'm very thankful for that!
Whee! =)
Hui called it the Dance Studio Syndrome. We used to have really long and tiring rehearsals and even though rehearsal has ended, we don't want to go home or we won't mind staying late.
It's quite awesome, really. I've been staying at work till rather late nowadays and I don't mind that at all. I also don't mind the fact that I've got a lot of work to do. The only thing I mind is feeling tired, perpetually tired. And that I don't have much time to meet Garlic or my friends. Other than that, I enjoy what I do and the people I work with.
I'm very thankful for that!
Whee! =)
12:48 PM
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Work has been relatively kind to me and I'm thankful I don't have to deal with shit except the occasional few mean people on the phone.
It's a lazy Saturday at work today and I've been doing an exceptional amount of thinking. I realised that I've lost touch with so much, like my completely neglected blog!
I haven't touched my piano in months and I haven't been listening to a whole lot of music. Maybe this is what losing touch with yourself feels like. It's scary. I can come up with 10,000 reasons and say that I've been too busy and tired, but that's just a huge excuse.
I guess I have to try a little harder to squeeze in maybe 15 minutes of piano once in awhile and remember to charge my iPod so I'll have music on my way to work...
Sigh... What a horrid realisation... O_o
10:49 AM